Just a thought, maybe you could try feeding her more often in the day? You say she's feeding every 4 hrs? I think my DD never went more than 3hrs b/w feeds until she was well over one. Obviously all babies are different. But I was thinking maybe if you fed her more during the day she would not want so much at night. Does she have a cluster feed before bed?

How is it you are settling her for sleep? Are you sitting beside her and patting/shhhing?? I found that never worked for my DD either. She was a snuggly little thing and just wanted cuddles. So I had to hold her and rock her and sing to her, then put her down when she was asleep.

I never worried about routines or self-settling or anything like that either. I found, the more I relaxed and just went with it the happier I was. The more we tried to change her sleep habits, the more stressed we were. Cosleeping was great for getting some extra sleep too.