I look after the money side of things, so a lot of the time I don't ask DH, but sometimes I will run the larger expenses by him. He gets some pocket money and asks me about what he is allowed to spend other money on (this is after him blowing out a $1000 credit card on nothing).

There is a real downside to all of this, it is all my responsibilty. The load is not shared. If I say yes to something, then grumble about it later DH says that it is all my problem as I had final say. So I have just told him now to no longer ask for anything (if he wants to fulfil the dream of rebuilding then he has to stop spending). I often feel conned and bullied into to saying yes to many purchases, DH is very good at justification and just plain wear me down tactics. I do not want to be the bad guy saying no anymore, so it is better that he no longer asks.