*deep breath*

So, after a heated conversation yesterday afternoon, that ended with me being told that he "would take my phone of me and smash it" because I went over my cap last month (quite a lot over, I had no idea, and TBH I am going to call Vodafone and ask them to check the billing ,etc, I have had the same cap for 5 years and NEVER even come close to using it all, let alone going over by $400)
Anyway, I was furious. I am furious. DH has NEVER EVER pulled the "I earn the money" card on me in such a domineering way before and I don't like it.
He earns the money, it goes into an account in his name, I have recently given over the responsibility of paying the bills and the finances to him (I suck with money anyway, but I don't think he really aprreciated how much every really cost and how much of a PITA it is to have to worry about it, so let him do it now). Which I am happy with. Never concerned me before really. He transfers most of the money into another account I have access to, I have the debit card for it, and he doesn't question what I spend etc, so I don't feel controlled like that.

We are coming very very slowly back from a split in our relationship, that has been going on for most of the year. And I am still not sure how much I am forcing myself to stay, how much because I am scared to leave and how much is because I really do love him. This last night though has made me seriously reconsider what I am doing.

I went in to his study about 15mins after his comment and asked him if he wants me to bill him weekly, fortnightly or monthly. He asked for what. I said, "Raising your children, cleaning your house, doing your washing and cooking your meals." He is such an arrogant ***** sometimes, I honestly don't know if I can do this. He said that I should write up an itemeised list of expenses for him to look at. I told him he better think about it carefulyl, not sure he can actually afford me.


I am in a situation where I can get no assistance from CL - I don't work, but I am studying FT, but that doesn't matter, because he earns too much money.
I need some advice. I want to begin to become financially independent. And if I am being completely honest, I want to do it so he doesn't know, and so I can leave him. I am not happy and this is just sucha clear smack in the face of how our relationship functions, it is scary. I don't like him.

So, how do I begin to do this? Is it amatter of just squirreling away a couple of hundred dollars a week into a secret bank account? Is there some way I can apply to CL to be considered independent of my husband? I hate this. I hate that I have let myself become so dependent on a someone else. I hate that I don't have teh security and autonomy in my own life to pack up and leave my husband, all becuase I have no money of my own.