She may have given up on herself and her situation. I know you will be a friend and stand up strong and be there when she needs it. It sounds like it might be happening sooner rather than later.
I had a friend in a similar circumstance (JW, btw). It got to the point that she was very close to divorce - talked to her pastor and everything.
Turns out her DH was depressed and has ADD. The spending is self-esteem related. It's a vicious circle - spend, feel guilty about it, get depressed, spend to make it feel better, etc.
Chronic spending is also common in people with bipolar.
The thing that fixed it was him getting a decent job, which improved his self-seteem. They sold all the big items he kept buying, like motorbikes, car etc, she took control of the budget and access to the cash. They moved to a cheaper area as well.
You've mentioned she's a martyr to this. She needs counselling herself, or she'll just end up behaving like a victim. Make sure you're not enabling her rather than supporting her. Rescuing people who want to be seen as a victim doesn't encourage them to pick themselves up and get on with things. Give her links to resources that will help but stop bailing them out.
Moderator
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks