We have our own accounts, as well as one shared one. We are currently saving for a house, so ALL my money goes into the savings account (the shared account, we have both our names on that one) and we split whatever DP gets paid. We have a 'grocery wallet' (which includes petrol money) and a 'bills wallet' that we use to pay all our joined things. Then we both get a set amount of 'spending money' that we can do with whatever we want! I spend it on coffee or nights out with the girls and he spends his on cigarettes and records/cd's. That way I never feel like he's spending money we should be saving on cigarettes and vice versa.

So maybe if your DP is not comfortable having a joint account or just 'giving' you money for groceries, you can have a wallet specifically for groceries etc. Depending on how much he brings home and you bring home, you can figure out how much you should each put in the wallet. If he earns double as much as you, he has to put double in the food wallet... DTMS?

Good luck