I am reading a book (that was recommended by someone on BB) called "The Post-Baby Conversation" that talks about this very issue. It is an issue for many couples, but often the man doesn't realise the effect that having to ask can have on a woman. I haven't finished the book, so not sure what solutions it offers but you probably need to talk about it with hubby and work through different options to see what works for both of you and the household.