well i had had an epidural, but they decided to turn it off/down, so there i was in absolute agony with contractions one on top of the other, but unable to move... it was a nightmare situation... i did manage to get up onto my knees, but i was absolutely exhausted and couldn't hold the position, particularly due to the epidural...
in hindsight when i was in theatre i think i could feel what would have been the urge to push (enormous pressure even with epidural/spinal) but by then i didn't speak up i just wanted her out...

i know its not great going into it with someone who has doubts, but i am a lot better prepared mentally this time, and i have a fab fab fab very pro vbac group of midwives to support me... i'm going to do everything i can to make it work and am in a better head space about it... i've asked all the right questions and feel like i will be able to trust my body this time... the midwife i have been seeing has told me she has a good feeling about me and thinks i will be fine, that she gets great vibes and i am going into it very educated and in the rihgt frame of mind... that has been remarkably encouraging, to hear that i am coming across as very confident.

my partner i suppose thinks that the obs are the experts and is so trusting of their opinion, which is why i want to prove it wrong.... that said, i should bring him along to my next ob appointment, as he hasn't met Dr Simon yet....

sorry this has gone way off topic, didn't mean it to!