fionas- i think its great that u are going over all the aspects of your labour and mentally preparing....
I was exactly like this, i wanted to labour at home (secretly planning to stay there and just have the baby alone LOL) i told hubby that at the first twinge step daughter must levae, i didnt want to fone anyone or have anyone know as i just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and not have anyone checking on me etc. I too hate been being fussed over, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I wanted hubby there only, and at the Birth Centre i had told my midwife that she may come outa the shadow of the corner if she has to only, hehehe.
BUT then about 4 hours after getting to the birth centre whilst rotating thru the contractions, hubby's hand on my lower back and voice was replaced by Rosie's hand and voice(my midwife), and can i tell you this touch and voice changed who i am today. I never would have thought a female soothing me would be what i craved at that time( not a great relationship with my mum to say the least) but i will forever remember that moment and am glad, so glad, she was there.
So maybe go with your plan of just u and hubby, and know thats what will work for you. But also maybe consider a close friend that can be on standby?? U just never know how its gonna be...
Best of luck, i know how exciting these last few weeks can be.
xoox