I really really hope you get the birth you want.

Can you get someone (who has a background or strong understanding of what you want) to help you advocate with the ob/hospital? That way if you are feeling fragile or overwhelmed someone else will be there to back you up and wont let you get trodden on.

Is changing obs an option?? I know you have said you already owe your current ob money but if you change to another one you may get most of your costs back due to the medicare threshold.

Best of luck and let us know how you go.
Take care
Jem