Birth is about making mothers

[Indadhanu]

I've also pondered this quote!!!!!

Did Jazzy's birth make me a mother, or contribute significantly?
And did it contribute to my trust in myself, or know my inner strength?

For me... no, but at the same time yes.

No... in fact, my labour and birth with Jazzy compeltely shattered my trust in myself, and my notion of inner strength. And it wasn't until weeks afterwards that I could even call myself a mum and believe.

For me, birth did not mark the beginning (mentally) of my motherhood. It did not make me a mother. I struggled in the first few weeks being a mother, but once I fell in love with Jazz, the realisations that birth was but a moment in time compared to the experiences and lessons that I need to teach her. In the future, no one will ask me how she was birthed. No one will compare her to another child and say "oh, well you can tell she was a c/s birth"... no, they will talk about the thins I've taught her, her attitudes towards life, respect towards other... etc...



BUT, at the same time...
Going through the labour and birth with Jazz, and then later on (9-12 months later on) realised that... the fact that I had grown a baby, brought a baby into the world who was healthy and happy, and was raising this baby, breastfeeding and using gentle methods ... for me, that built my inner strangth. Waking every night to her, and not allowing her to cry helplessly without me made me realise how strong I really was. I was strong in my resolve to mother gentley. I trusted in my instincts.

It was the opposite to the labour and birth, which I felt was so hard, forced, and in some ways very violent. And I realised... labour and birth, which was a loong but ultimately a tiny tiny moment in time compared to the 9 months preceding and the years proceeding it, did NOT define me as a mother.

Hmm... well for me I feel that the actual moment was insignificant, but the realisations coming from it were the most important things for me to learn.


I think (or, i'd like to think) I parent in the way I wanted birth to do... instintual and gentle, personal, loving.


Does that make sense... it makes so much sense in my head, but hard to write LOL