I am shocked at how common it is to either tear or get cut during birth...
This scares the cr@p out of me if I'm honest, and I can also tell you that it is the ONE thing of birth that gives me sleepless nights (I've even had a nightmare about it!!!!)
What I would like to know (if you don't mind sharing), is if you tore/were cut how long did it take you to heal and how painful was it? Does it influence your sex life at all?
Do you think I'm making a too big a deal out of it? I.e. it's bad, but not that bad and being able to birth naturally is worth it?
I'm going to be completely honest. Tearing myself a new one was what terrified me most about having a baby naturally. I even had a c-section first up to prevent myself from having to go through that pain.
The reason I was so terrified was because I tear during sex. Always have. Doesn't matter how big or small the guy is, I tear. So of course, if I tear with even the smallest, how the heck could I not tear having a baby! Plus everyone was so free with their horror stories ya know.
But - as someone said to me (for my last baby) - the sex vagina and the birthing vagina are very different. It mainly comes down to management of the birth that determines if you will tear or not.
I had a 8 pound 10 baby, with two minor tears (definitely didn't feel myself tear) and that didn't need stitching. My birth was very well managed by my midwife to help prevent tearing.
I would say that only one of the tears hurt for about a week afterwards, and that was only when going to the toilet (stings!!) but can be managed as well (by leaning over towards the floor, the pee doesn't hit it so it doesn't sting).
Try not to be too scared about something that may not ever happen. You'll be fine xxx
I don't know that it's *that* comon and there are things that your midwife can do during the birth to reduce the likelihood.
I had an episiotomy due to a forceps delivery. It healed up ok within a few weeks, but for me the scar tissue was very sensitive for a long time. Generally, natural tears heal up quicker and better than cuts, so I wouldn't opt for a cut 'just in case'. And, most tears are relatively minor, like Arimeh's.
I've been cut and definitely want a natural birth (with risk of tearing) - I reckon having my abdomen cut open would be worse.
Try to relax. Have you spoken to any midwives about your fears - they can probably put your mind at ease, talking about likelihoods, management plans etc. Or even a good private ante-natal class could be helpful.
All the best for your upcoming birth
I am going to talk to my Ob about this tomorrow. I'm just worried that as this is what she deals wit day in, day out she might be desensitised to my fears if that makes any sense?
I know how it would scare you hun but to be honest when I gave birth to DS I didn't even know (i sustained a 3c tear) because your in pain anyway and you dont really notice.
I was up walking around the next day (even though I did feel faint) and I was pretty sore for a couple of weeks. Mine healed pretty well and even though it took me a while to get the courage to do the deed again it was totally fine.
I never found my contractions painful, so I was aware of tearing with all my births. It really wasn't that bad, kinda like a stinging sensation as you are so stretched at the point of birth it's not like a thick cut. Afterwards with my first the stitches were awful but I found out a week or so later I had been so busy trying to do everything that I burst them open. With my second I rested after the birth and I healed up very fast. I tore again with the twins but needed no stitches that time and again healed very fast. Honestly it has made no difference to my sex life.
I never feared this when going into labour with DD I tried not to let things bother me because fear is what can make it all seem much more painful iykwim? However YES I did tear, pretty badly too, i tore internally and had a 3rd degree tear. I needed quite a few stitches down there and YES it hurt really badly because I didn't have any drugs or gas or anything, all natural but that's what I chose to do and wanted so to me, it's all part of the 'birth' experience YES it REALLY hurt tearing and was the most painful part of the entire labour for me (made the contractions seem easy!) however my contractions had slowed right down at that stage and DD seemed to just crown for aaaaages until she came out so that stage wasn't fast for me!! Some people tear and it's not that bad for them....... everyone is different. Lots of women don't tear either so you may not at all!!!
Please don't be scared or worried about something that may NEVER happen go in with an open mind..... trust me, once they place bub on your chest, it's TOTALLY WORTH IT.
(it did take a few weeks for my vagina to feel somewhat normal down there but after a few months, sex and everything felt same as always )
All the best with it all please remember birth is something that is totally normal and natural and you CAN do it Don't be frightened of it.
Awwww hun, please do not freak out about this, it was something I was so worried about too. I did EVERYTHING imaginable to prevent this and I sustained a 3rd degree tear. Others may completely disagree with me on this but I honestly do not even remember feeling it happen! Admittedly healing took a while but if I had the choice again over a C-section, I would tear in a heart beat iykwim. It is worth it to be able to birth naturally I think but have never had a c-section. I do take a while to heal at the best of times so that might contribute to taking so long to. Took 3 months to DTD again but I think that had a lot more to do with 'fear' of pain so much as not being healed properly and it has not effected it at all.
Trust your body hun birthing bubbas is what its made to do. Good luck with it and do heaps of reading as there are ways that are believed to assist in reducing tearing.
I didn't feel or notice the tearing either. I don't know how many stiches I had either. My tear was caused by a fast labour but I still prefered a natural labour and a tear to a c sect, then you have cut skin, muscles etc to have heal and no driving or lifting.
I healed in two weeks, I couldn't sit on a hard seat for the first two days or so and going to the loo stung at first but u could move around or lift without any problems.
My first was a second degree tear - about 5 stitches on the perineum and one long labial stitch (by FAR the most painful)
My first was an induction with an epidural and my baby was only 6lb 14oz - by rights I NEVER should have torn BUT I couldn't feel a thing pushing and the midwives didn't direct me at all so went from crowning to out in less than a minute.
My second was nothing. Not even a graze. She was a completely unmedicated water birth and I pushed when I felt like it and I supported her head as she was coming out and slowing guided her shoulders and body - I didn't let the midwife lay one hand on me - I did what I felt needed doing and I am stoked I did.
This might sound dumb, but if you have a natural birth (completely drug free) you will feel what needs to be done. Get in a position that is positive to supporting your birth (I got on my knees in the bath) rather than flat on your back (which is where I was with my first) and your body will naturally do what it needs to.
IF you do tear - my saving grace was the water bottle when I pee'd - about 4 showers per day - and I was good to DTD 3 weeks after with minimal pain. Trust me, you forget it again in time for the next LOL
I know exactly how you feel....this is the one thing that bothered me the most about childbirth too!
I had an episiotomy and a forceps delivery. I initally refused the episiotomy but then realised my perenium probably hadn't had much of a chance to stretch during labour so changed my mind. I could have been a lot worse off had I chosen to tear. I ended up with quite a long J shaped incision but no extra tearing. Half of it healed within a few days but had a bit of a hiccup with the other half. 2 of the stiches dissolved to early but the gape wasn't quite large enough to bother restitching, that was pretty painful and it took about 4 months to completely heal.
It definitely did affect our sex life as I didn't let DH near there until DS was about 4 months old...I commend his patience! I still have some scar tissue which can be a little painful when we first start DTD or putting in a tampon etc but it only lasts a few seconds. So it definitely wasn't how I wanted things to go but I came out the otherside! Had my I birthed my baby naturally I would have opted to tear, but given the situation I think I made the right decision. Yeah the recovery was pretty uncomfortable but nothing I couldn't overcome. Next time round I know I won't be so scared.
Tearing/cutting.... FREAKING OUT!!!
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YES it REALLY hurt tearing and was the most painful part of the entire labour for me (made the contractions seem easy!) however my contractions had slowed right down at that stage and DD seemed to just crown for aaaaages until she came out so that stage wasn't fast for me!! 
Some people tear and it's not that bad for them....... everyone is different. Lots of women don't tear either so you may not at all!!!
go in with an open mind..... trust me, once they place bub on your chest, it's TOTALLY WORTH IT. 
)
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