As some of you know I had a traumatic first birth and suffered from PTSD from it. Because of this I was able to choose to have a c-section through the public system, after alot of interviews ect. Late last night I called the midwife and cancelled it, I have been feeling guilty lately for choosing to go straight to a c-section. I felt like I faulted myself, my baby, my ds and dh by not trying first, when it could be completely different from the first. I know I would always wonder would it have been different, could I have done it. If I end up having to need a c-section I know at lease I tried. I have a great midwife who is willing to do a waterbirth if I want one or whatever else I want, as long as bub doesn't come on the 8th or 9th because she is away those days. On the otherhand I don't know if it is the right decision. Maybe I should go straight to c-section. I only have until today to change my mind.
Can someone either tell me I'm doing the right thing or I'm an idiot and should have the c-section?