Sounds like you need to sit down with a midwife and find out about your first labour and labours in general just to see if you can work out some reasons why things didn't go to plan first time and what can happen second time around.
You know yourself that your ob is pro c/s, so even if the middy is pro vbac you might get some kind of balance in the middle!!

Then at least you will feel less 'in the dark' about what happened last time and that might make you feel happier when you finally do make your decision.