Hi Everyone,
So i'm pregnant with my first baby and I'm trying to think about what i want when it comes to having the baby - my best friend is due to have her 2nd any day... and have been talking to her alot....
And i'm trying to decide who i want in the room with me?
Who did you have?
1St time I had my mum and Dp. This time Im having Dp, my sister and my mum. But my mum will be alternating between looking after Annabelle and being in with me
I had my midwife and my husband the first time (independent midwife) & "sister"
The next birth - my SIL, husband, midwife, my "sister" and DD6
The next birth - my SIL, husband, midwife & my "sister" & DD8 & DS2
The next birth - my SIL, husband, midwife & DD10, DS4, DD15months.
My Imogen - my friend (who is an obs), my husband & a team of paeds and medical physicians... (high tech birth!)
It is important that you choose your attendants wisely and carefully. It's all about you and what you need. Think about what it is that's important to you and why. Good luck!
I had my DF and mum all 3 times except she missed the birth of Master L because she had gone down stairs to get DF some hot food and to have a smoke! She had been there for the whole birth of the other 2!!!
#1 DH, OB plus around 10 other specialists!
#2 (due in 6 days) DH, sister acting as Doula, OB and the hospt midwife BUT who knows how it will all happen...
Thanks for your replies .....
Did anyone not have their husband/partner.... i really want my DH there but he is very squirmish and i dont know if he is going to be able to be there.... i think he will try though....
i was tossing up between having my mum or my best friend.... thinking my best friend though cuz she will have been through labour twice and knows what i'll be going through for the support whereas my mum only had c-sections.
guess i'll have plenty of time to think
Last edited by Kirley64; September 8th, 2009 at 12:05 PM.
: wrote security thingo in title :)
I had my husband present - but really my love it's not a pre requisite. We are told its natural and all men should be there. But really we all have our thing. If it's not his thing - he has plenty of time to be a father! Being present during labour doesn't decide good fathering.
If it were me I'd just let this evolve. If he feels really uncomfy - leave it up to him. You need though good strong support - so seek that out. If your husband chooses to be at the birth & you are happy with that - then so be it. If he can't be there - take this time to work through that and find alternate support.
If your labour progresses naturally, your DH will not really witness anything squirmish-ifying anyways. That only happens at the end - and many men who do say they are squirmish say that when they heard their baby was about to appear - the excitement and fascination took over and they found it easy to stomach!!
Regardless, your DH could always stand behind you and massage your shoulders, rub your lower back or simply hold your hand by your side or something when you get close to delivering - he doesn't have to witness anything he's not comfortable with.
I wouldn't stress about it hon - I would just ask him to take it as it comes.
Haha shades i see your signature too and you don't live too far from me
I was actually looking at a website today about doulas for that exact reason, i guess i'll have to look into it a bit further....
who'd thought having a baby could be so complicated
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