The midwife suggested he (exDF) rub the lower part of my back for me.. For some reason he did it all wrong, it felt really bad and I screamed at him to stop.. He hadn't gone to many of the antenatal classes lol..
He kept complaining because I wanted the air con up because I thought it was so hot, and he was whinging that it was too cold and that I was insane.
He took photos of me when I was having contractions, and that annoyed me for some reason.
He asked to try the gas, and then told me I shouldn't have any more because he thought I looked stoned and that the pain can't be that bad.
After the birth while I am waiting for the placenta to come out (if that is the right term), he says to me "I think you may have done a poo, I saw them wipe you 'down there'. That put me right off, it was so gross." .. Ah, yeah, just what I wanted to hear. The midwife said I hadn't done anything like that, and even if I had it would be completely normal.. Lucky for him he was at work when my water broke, wouldn't want to know what he thought of that :P
I had a 14 induced labor which ended in a c/s. For the labor DH was great but during the c/s he kept looking over the screen I had in front of me and telling me 'Man, darl you should really see this. I can see your guts and everything!'.
A DF told me during her labor her DH was nearly kicked out cause he kept sucking on all the gas and ended up only leaving her air. When things got really bad and she was sucking away on the mask he let slip that the gas was used up and there was only air left. Apparently he coped one in the back of the head from the midwife for that one .
My DF was really fantastic during labour, I honestly don't think I have any complaints. It was my mum that gave me the irrits! But only because she kept saying things about drugs not relaising I was refusing because I wanted a natural birth, not because I was afraid .
It was only planned the DP be there, I guess next time I will inform mum of my birth plan jic she ends up there again.
My DF refused to read anything about labour and birth and also refused to go to any antenatal classes so I was quite apprehensive about him being with me.
I was induced and while we were waiting he decided to flip through the book I had bought him, to read what he could about labour (peeved me off).
The damn doctors wouldn't put the amount of the drip up so I was stuck at 4cm for ages and then at 6cm when he asked to speak to the registrar outside. Lol my thought was OMG he is going to punch that doctor. When they came back in the doctor made vague noises but DF came out and asked me if i wanted a c/s (WTF). Luckily my g/f was my other support person and she told him it wouldn't be much longer and she was right. They had gone to get the head obs and by the time he got down there (15 mins max) I had gone from 6cm to 10cm and he told me to start pushing.
DF had absolutely no idea what to expect and certainly not the pain involved (read the book earlier d*ckhead) so he just held my hand and told me he loved me and that he would never put me through this again (yeah right lol).
The funny thing was he didn't want to watch her being born or to cut the cord but he did both, with a very white face mind you lol.
Sorry for the epic girls but the best advice is get them to study, study, study lol
OMG .. you girls have done it tough !!! I might make sure DH reads through these comments and make sure he doesn't do any of it!! But who knows what will annoy me when I'm in my labour moment!! (I'm yet to get him to read the Pink Kit stuff, I've found the info fantastic, just hope I can get him interested to have a read!)
well my DH was really excited about the impending arrival of our joy. he came along to classes and read the bits of books that i pointed out to him (i think it would have been too much to expect him to take the initiative on that one LOL!).
then...DD decides to come 2 weeks early. i had spooky pregnancy premonition and told DH that fateful morning that maybe he shouldnt referee that soccer game in that town 2 hours drive away that afternoon. he kissed me on the cheek and told me that we were just being over-cautious. 2 and bit hours later my waters break. annoying. i knew it would happen.
so anyway, in full swing of labour. contractions are 2-3 minutes apart from the start, it's pretty tough going, a girl could use some words of encouragement, or a massage or help into the shower...bit hard to get that when DH is SNORING on the couch.
He slept through 9 hours of the 9 and half hour labour. only woke up with a start when the OB and midwives came rushing in as i hit transition and began to push! LOL!
ah well. i guess i can say that i laboured all by myself, but not really how i envisioned it (or how he did for that matter...mmm that massage would have been good! LOL!).
Poor DH, Hindsight tells me he did a great job but at the time I assumed he the worst of intentions for me!
Firstly he could never massage my legs and back the right way, would spray the water in my face at the wrong distance and never aim the shower nozzle at me in the right direction.
Worst of all after a very long labour and 2 nights of no sleep, my labour seemed to be stalling in the hospital and I was getting increasingly desperate for sleep. I finally consented to try some pain killers to enable me to get some rest and begun sucking down the gas like it was a lifeline. My poor DH looked increasingly worried as he began to assume that I showing signs of drug addiction (he had not done any research about labour and did not know how the gas worked and what it might do to me or the baby).
I got really frustrated with him because he kept telling me to stop sucking so hard on the gas, and that he was really worried about me, and that I shouldn't use so much of it. He even told me that I looked like a mad woman and a drug addict.
I was soooo frustrated and desperately, between contractions I concentrated really hard and attempted to explain to him that I needed to suck the gas in such a way so that I could make sure I would have enough of it in my system to take effect when the contraction peaked. I couldn't understand how he couldn't understand and why he kept giving me such weird and unsupportive looks.
it was only 2 days later, when I attempted to debrief with him about how upset I was that he was so unsupportive that he told me that what I had said to him in the labour ward was not the rational explanation for the use of the gas that I thought I had given him, but that I had whispered to him in conspiratorial tones that I had to suck the gas really quickly so that all the other women in the other beds didn't use it all up... as I gestured wildly at the empty room..!
Apparently the lack of sleep and the gas turned me into a mad woman who was imagining things and he was completely right to be worried!!
All the way through the labour DP was talking quietly to me & I couldn't understand a word he was saying ... just could see his mouth moving ... nothing else mattered to me. All I was interested in was what the midwife was saying to me.
Infact I felt slightly ticked off cause he looked so calm (I secretly must have wanted to see him suffer in some way) ... Anyway, moments before our daughter entered the world I said to him in the politest & kindest way I could as I realised this was his big day too ... " Coouldd yooouu pleeassse NOT talk so much "
Which was hysterical to him as those that know me, know that I talk alot ... and DP is known to be reserved, a bit shy & quitely spoken. Under normal circumstances I would never have said it to him
(He too held the bucket for me when I vomited in transition ... that was no# 1 in my book ... true love there )
Though he chickened out in cutting the cord & I ended up doing it ... yeh, my body was in shock from a quick birth ... I can tell you I was a dangerous woman with those scissors shaking away !!!
Last edited by smiles4u; August 23rd, 2008 at 12:29 AM.
* I had to scream at him from the bathroom when my water broke, he didn't even want to come and see what I screaming about because he was playing XBOX
* he slept, A LOT. The main thing that upset me about this was that he was taking the bed in the labour ward so I couldn't lay down and rest.
* He got annoyed me when I was crying from the pain (read: fear of the pain)
* He didn't really comfort me, though I think he just felt lost and tired, I don't think it was intentional
* I wanted him to be next to me as I gave birth but instead he watched DD come out (which I'd specifically asked him not to do). I couldn't tell him not to as I was too busy pushing.
* He let the midwives lead him away to talk to my (upset) mother about what was happening while I was screaming, crying and begging him not to leave me. (I blame the midwives more for that one to be honest).
I hate thinking about the dissapointing aspects of my labour, of which there were many
Honestly I don't think that there was anything that DH could have said or done that wouldn't have been annoying. He was actually really good, supportive, doing what I said without comment, rubbing my back, stopping when I snapped at him to stop. But I was just annoyed at everyone. So I guess the only advice I could give anyone, is to just BE there, do exactly what you're told (don't offer suggestions), agree with everything your wife/partneer says (but don't be patronising about it) and DO NOT take anything said or done to you by your other half personally (we may mean it in the moment when we tell you you are useless and that we hate you for putting us through this - but that moment WILL pass, and anyone going through the agony of labour deserves to be cut alittle slack. And no matter how joyous, exciting, or whatever other positive emotion / feeling birth is (or is supposed to be and was for me) it most definitely is agony.)
Oh wait I remember something that was REALLY annoying. I don't like talking on the phone at the best of times, and have made it clear to DH with both births that if he wants to ring the hospital up to let them know we are coming in (like you are supposed to) that I AM NOT talking on the phone. And both times DH has let the midwives on the phone bully him into putting me on the phone to tell them how I am progressing! Next time I am putting my foot down and just turning up to the hospital unannounced!!.
With My first When the labour started i was 3 weeks over due... I was having pains (but had BH since 32 weeks) DP was saying its labour . everyone told me when ur in labour you'll know... I didnt think it was... after i scrubbed the shower out i decided to lay down and after an hour he was like "your pains there 5 mins apart.. I never bothered to time them as i though it was just BH...
During the labour he kept asking me "are you alright" repeatedly By the 20th time (poor DP0 i yelled back "no i'm not freakin alright, i'm trying to push out a watermelon from my vajay jay" Apart from that he didnt do much else except stand there white as a ghost and trying to give me a smile... (god love him... his terrified face made me feel scared *****less)
With DD i was induced and he kept saying... Ohh todays the day... like all excited... Worst part was i was terrified of doing it again... During the labour i had no pain relief til the last 10-15 mins... During the l;ast 45 mins i was yelling at him for just sitting there with the same terrified look, telling him to "freakin help me" and "why arent you helping me"
All in all my DP wasnt much help at all, but then again what could he have done to help me???? if he tried i probably would have told him off for doing something wrong
Oh no, not that worried face. My DH and my mum did that one pretty much the whole time and OMG it drove me insane. I wanted to put a bag over both their heads so I ddint have to see. It just made ME feel worse and that was something I didnt need.
Yikes. Some of these are terrible! I was very blessed with my H- he was a much better support person than I could ever be if the tables had been turned. I'm the one with constant foot-in-mouth.
DH was pretty good thru the whole thing, the most annoying thing was when I was in the shower and he was holding the shower head on my lower back, but kept turning to chat to the midwife! Grrr...
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Schmick!!! You're priceless! I was thinking - what kinda doofus does that - and now I know!!!
)
I was very blessed with my H- he was a much better support person than I could ever be if the tables had been turned. I'm the one with constant foot-in-mouth.
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