Poor girl - must be very daunting. Perhaps there is more to it - she may have misunderstood perhaps, maybe she feels uncomfortable bf herself and is not comfortable saying that??? Certainly encourage her to seek support from ABA if she is interested.
As a side issue - with a 3rd deg tear and significant blood loss without a transfusion - her recovery will be different to someone who didn't have significant blood loss. It takes time to replace red blood cells and she will take a few months for that to fix up - may be worth checking with her GP to make sure she has adequate care also.
Hope she recovers well and gets the support she needs.
ETA - I also had similiar issues - and successfully BF for 10months - but initially was exhausted and physically very difficult.
Last edited by Mak; April 24th, 2009 at 01:45 PM.
: ETA
Thanks guys.
I know that considering her birth she will take alot longer to recover.
She did try BFing, but she must've had trouble & just gave up maybe. I do know though that when she first found out she was pg she decided she wanted to BF & that she did want to all the way through her pg.
I'm not sure if I should try pushing her to do so, or let her be iykwim. I don't live near her (8 hours away) otherwise I'd be there right now talking to her & finding out what she really wants.
I just hop either she rings me to say she wants to, or she is happy with her decision not to.
I had alot of trouble with my older 2 & didn't BF for more than a few weeks. I was young too & had no support. My mum didn't BF, so couldn't really give me any help.
If I had credit on my phone I'd text her the LC number. Hmmm. I'm just not sure what to do. I'm one of those types who'd go pick her up & bring her home til I was confident she was doing it right, lol.
Its her life though. Can't be doing that!
Poor girl, what a shame she didn't get good care. It sounds as though she had a significant blood loss and is likely to be very anaemic from this. Low Hb can make it difficult to establish breastfeeding as Hb levels and blood volume do effect milk production. I think giving her this information, giving her a transfusion if required, iron supplements and the support she needs to establish bf if she wanted to would have been better than saying it will take too much out of her.
I hope she has a good gp and would suggest she contacts the ABA or a good lactation consultant if she really wants to bf. I hope she is recovering ok
What a horrible experience for her - she sounds very brave especially at 16.
The only thing that I can think that would make the mw say that would be to do with her iron levels after that sort of a blood loss (with that much blood, I would think she would have had a blood transfusion). If that is the case, then she probably should be on some sort of iron supplement.
Breastfeeding can add to decreased levels of iron in your body, but that just needs monitoring, it doesn't mean she can't.
Oh thats horrible it sounds like a know it all busy body type told her that!!! Looking down her nose because of her age and just deciding she can't do it!! She's 16 and first baby sho isn't that optimum energy levels for bf or should we all just not bother??
What about the cost of ff?? perhaps she is not in the best position financially and bf could make a defference to her budget
Maybe give her a call and chat to her..the longer it gets left obviously the harder it will be to turn back. I can imagine for even the strongest willed people that having someone tell u not to bother would be very disheartening especially being your first baby and after what I'm sure was a traumatic birth experience!
As long as she eats properly, drinks at least 2Lof water a day and probably should take some iron tablets too in her case (i only lost 600mL but was on iron tablets for anemia i think they said?) then I can't see why she can't bf... Yes she's going to be tired fromthe birth and blood loss but I think that advice is really off... if someone can recover from a cs and bf then I can't see why she couldn't...
I agree with Liz (have to spread the love darl) and think that your friend should at least speak to an ABA consultant. I'm sure they give free phone advice. I'd at least recommend that she do that. Personally i found bottle feeding took more out of me (when i had to resort to that for a while) ... at least with BFing there was no extra work preparing the bottles etc... and no getting up at night to feed... I just had to get baby and feed... eventually was able to do it half asleep lying in bed.... doesn't get easier than that.
Well I just sent her a message. Let her know everything.
Told her there are heaps of people to help her if she wants it. You just have to know who they are.
Told her I had trouble feeding the girls & that it caused my PND & that I have lots of guilt still.
Told her that if it hurts there are things you can do.
I also told her that it is totally up to her. If she decides not to that its her decision & that she's a great mum no matter what.
Poor chicken, 2L is a BIG loss alone, plus with everything else that she's been through..hope she is going ok. I'm sure they are saying she shouldn't push herself with bf'ing as it's going to take her a while to recover from everything that's happened already..but if supported well, bf'ing may be a great thing for her.
I really hope she has a terrific recovery and gets all the support she needs.
Poor girl. Sounds like an awful experience for her. Personally, I think that if the midwife really told her not to bother b/f and giving her a vague meaningless explanation that it "would take too much out of her", then your friend should report her for not doing her job properly. That is really slack and unprofessional. Young mothers (well, all mothers really, but especially inexperienced ones ) should be given encouaregement and support, rather than having their confidence undermined. So ff wouldn't take anything out of her? I'm sure anyone who uses formula would tell you that feeding a baby it hard work, no matter how you do it. Being a mum "takes it out of you". That's how it works, and it is only with adequate support from those around us that we manage. Personally, I think bf takes a lot less out of you that ff...
I would recommend that your friend rings the ABA on 1800 mum 2 mum and gets some proper advice.
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