I feel sooo much better from reading those posts. Thank you Kelly, I will pm you soon.

My first birth ( I was 19) was amazing, I found something inside me that I could draw upon, and that is the wonder of birth. Like some deep, tribal connection to all the female strength in the entire world is there for you. I was not frightened at all.

I was frightened and unsupported at Mitchells birth, I couldn't find the strength because of that. I still feel a bit ripped off, and it took me a long time to recover mentally.

I really do feel better knowing there are ways to still achieve this. I had a talk with Nik this morning and whilst he is not very happy, has agreed that he can wait in the lounge of the birth centre.

Maybe I can start this birth plan after all.....