how do i work on believing in me?

[carolinaw]

When I mentioned how painful to give birth, a friend told me, "This isn't pain like when you've broken your leg, it's not because something is wrong. It's just your body giving you a warning that something big is about to happen, and you need to find a safe and quiet place to have your baby where the lions and bears aren't going to eat you. OK, we've moved on from being eaten by lions and bears, but that's what the pain is for. It's NOT because something is wrong. So find your safe place, and relax into it. It's going to happen whether you let it or not, so give into it, relax and trust your body to do the job it's designed to do."

Find the right people to surround you, and you won't be scared. I don't have much advice but hope ithis is helpful for you.

[Ladylove]

Carolina that's a gorgeous analogy.

[peanutter]

I've been having a LOT of counselling, and some extra long appointments with my ob etc at hospital so that we have some specific strategies in place, which are focussed around me feeling safe before during and after the birth.

I'm not there yet, but I'm doing everything I can to get me there, and DH is doing what he can too.

I've also made myself tell my parents and siblings exactly what happened last time, so they can understand my fears, and support me in different ways this time.

I can't suggest any books, as the ones I read were specific to my injury which is quite different from your previous experience, but a lot of what I have been doing has been focussed specifically on minimising panic and anxiety about being at the hosptial, being in the care of doctors and midwives, and trying to trust that they will take care of me.

I know that we will be having different "births" (as I'll be having a scheduled c-section) but I guess we will both be working on feeling safe and confident in your body's abilities, trusting our medical care providers, being clear about what we are and aren't comfortable with, feeling in control, being thoroughly informed about what's happening every step of the way, and having strategies and a plan for your birth what we'll both be focussing on.

Major hugs

[carolinaw]

Carolina that's a gorgeous analogy.

yep, Ladylove. She is really great by saying that. And she is also a great mom having three kids. I like to talk with her what she said usually makes me feel better and more desire to have children. I am proud of telling you who need her words and spirit to stay strong here. So ladies, don't soak in anxity of pain, trust yourself, trust your body, believe you can do it well.