I've been having a LOT of counselling, and some extra long appointments with my ob etc at hospital so that we have some specific strategies in place, which are focussed around me feeling safe before during and after the birth.

I'm not there yet, but I'm doing everything I can to get me there, and DH is doing what he can too.

I've also made myself tell my parents and siblings exactly what happened last time, so they can understand my fears, and support me in different ways this time.

I can't suggest any books, as the ones I read were specific to my injury which is quite different from your previous experience, but a lot of what I have been doing has been focussed specifically on minimising panic and anxiety about being at the hosptial, being in the care of doctors and midwives, and trying to trust that they will take care of me.

I know that we will be having different "births" (as I'll be having a scheduled c-section) but I guess we will both be working on feeling safe and confident in your body's abilities, trusting our medical care providers, being clear about what we are and aren't comfortable with, feeling in control, being thoroughly informed about what's happening every step of the way, and having strategies and a plan for your birth what we'll both be focussing on.

Major hugs