Hey Bekz...

i tore with DD (well, grazed, whatever that is) and not DS1.. can't say I actively did anything to avoid it though I think I was just lucky.

However suggestions I have heard of are

- massaging perineum with evening primrose oil or other oil in the last few weeks - from what I understand involves basically massaging & very gently stretching the perineum with oil

- 'breathing' bub out, rather than forcing it - panting & letting the urge to push overtake you, rather than forcing it

- position I think is important too - FWIW I was on my back with DD, all fours with DS1

I think there are some good threads here on avoiding tearing, sorry I don't have more definitive advice! hopefully someone else can clarify or expand on these things I have heard?

Anyway HTH even if just a little