I understand that you may feel that way.

I also had the internal foetal monitor on DS1 for quite some time (ie: hours) during my labour, and when it came off we would have agreed to have it done again if they weren't about to do a forceps delivery.

I considered it to be akin to the heel pr!ck, or an injection, etc. Do I want things piercing my baby when they may or may not be necessary? No. But in terms of risk -v- reward, it was an acceptable concession so that on whole, I was doing the best I could do, to promote my baby's safe arrival.

In the same way, I had a c/s with DS2. I didn't want one, I wanted a natural labour and birth, to give him the best start in life, minimal intervention, maximise clearing his lungs, stimulate milk supply, etc ... but for my personal circumstances, there were unacceptable risks there, and so I made the best choice I could make with the options I had and with the knowledge I had.

In both situations, if I knew more, might I have made different choices?

Sure.

But I didn't, and I feel happy and guilt-free about having made the best choices as a parent with what information I had at the time.

There will always be things we don't know - but we always do our loving best.