I'm so sorry you felt let down during your labour. It's common to have undealt with emotions from your first labour affect your second so please don't think you are alone in this. My first suggestion would be to consider something like calmbirthing. Not only does this programme help you get into the right headspace for birth but it allows you to focus on your last birth and deal with those emotions so they don't hinder you when your next baby is being born.

My next suggestion would be to find someone who will support you. Many hospitals have an emotional health scheme, or one to one caseload midwifery for those who need it so speak to your hospital about this. If they don't offer such a thing then find a student midwife who will provide you with added support throughout the pregnancy and birth. You don't have to just pick a random student, if you contact Professor Cathy Turner who is the head of the school of nursing and midwifery at the university of Qld then I'm certain she will be able to pick an experienced student who can provide you with the support you need. By having the extra support you and your partner may both feel more positive going into this birth and this might help you set aside some of the negative emotions you are carrying from Jazz's birth.

I hope this helps xx