With DS1 i had a disappointing birth, in that it was not what i expected, i couldnt push him out because he had not descended, was posterior, had to use forceps, had a 3rd degree tear, almost an emergency c-section, passed a MASSIVE clot the following day, almost collapsed in the shower, etc etc. So when i became pregnant again, i agonized over another "natural" birth. Up until 38 weeks i had not decided what to do, but at that point i knew i couldnt do it, so DH and my OBS supported me in my decision for an elective C section. Best decision i ever made. DS2 was a dream for me, all the midwives would hang out in my room saying how releaxed it was, it was just great. Do what you think is best for you, no one will judge you for it, and there are no points for being a martyr. Bless. Xoxo.