Need a spontaneous labour cheer squad

[Spring Angel]

Well I'm back from my appointment a little fragile at the moment.

Had my usual CTG and for the first 20 mins all was well and then bubs heartrate slowed, down to about 110 to 130 and there was no movement. It was different to any CTG I've had. I freaked, I was in the room by myself and couldn't find a buzzer. I was just so worried that I was losing bub. I have built myself up so much that I think I just reached my limit.

I called for the mw who came in and tried to reassure me that it was just a sleep cycle. I stayed on for another 20 mins and bub was moving heaps and heartrate was up around 140-150. Thing is, I got so worked up that my usually perfect BP of 110/70 shot up to 150/87 and so they got worried about me. I told them it was just stress but of course they wanted me to calm down to see if it would come down.

I've had a mw and 3 doctors try to reassure me that babies have sleep cycles and it is a perfectly good trace, but I've never seen that before (and trust me I've had my share of CTG's) and I got myself in such a state it took a good hour to calm down.

The result now is the head consultant thinks we should 'draw a line in the sand' because my emotional health is just as important as whether or not I have an induction. So I've been booked in for Friday but I've told them that I almost 90% certain that I'll cancel, they are happy for that to occur and will just move me to Monday and so on. They just want me to have Friday as an option. The final date we've set is 41 weeks, I'm happy with that, I think I can make it that far but I also feel good knowing that if there are any other moments like today I can put my hand up and say ' I've done as good as I can do'.

The good news, I had a S&S and I'm already 3 cms so I need all of you to hope and pray that bub decides to come soon. I have another CTG tomorrow and I'm going to take a big drink of cold juice and tell bub there is no way any type of sleeping is allowed.

Thanks for all the support, I really do apprecaite each and every post.

Lv Spring. xx

[Oorki Galoorki]

ah how stress full!
yes babies do have sleep cycles.. i always seemed to only have ctgs when DS was sleeping.

now you have had your s&s time to get your DH to donate some prostiglandins and give you a wicked orgasm!

awesome about 3cms (labour is usually 4cms and contractions) so you are VERY VERYclose to going any way!

love to you

[Mak]

Wow what a big day. I stressed out about each CTG I had - nothing like seriously concentrating on movements to make bubs sleep, lol. But 3cm sounds great. Almost there. xx

[Amity]

oh hugs honey. Yes they do have sleep cycles but that doesn't make it any easier for you.

Thinking of you and sending you "safe happy easy SOON labour vibes"

[Fleur]

Big hugs how stressful. I am in awe of your strength, what an amazing job you are doing.
Sending you lots of labour vibes ...

[Ginger]

really hoping something happens tonight springy xoxo

[JCE0810]

Spring i'm hoping & praying bubs decides to come soon, thinking of you

sending you truck loads of labour vibes.

[beckoes]

the first thing i do when im on the computer is come and check this thread SO sorry to hear you had a hard time at your appointment, must have been so scary for you! and no matter how many docs tell you its ok, it would still be scary.
Sounds like a good idea to have the option for induction....give you some more mini goals to work with....just make it to friday and see how your feeling!!
Im in agreeance with others, 3cm and a S&S sounds like very close to being in labour, i would even say that you probably wouldnt need that appoinment on friday! Fingers crossed for you!!

As always, sending good labour vibes!!!!!!! :hugs:

[BekZ]

Yep I am stalking too. My goodness you poor thing, getting a fright like that.

Nearly there hun. Hugs and labour vibes.

[Jas]

I am sorry that hapened today I hope that tonight is the night, you are so close

[Arimeh]

You are so close to the end now Spring - sending much love and labour vibes to you!!!

(and who knows - you might have already had bub overnight and this post isn't going to be relevant!! lol)

[Spring Angel]

I wish Mel but alas, I'm still here. Plenty of pains overnight but that's been going on for over a week.

DH had an overnight at work last night (but he was only 10 mins away) so I had plenty of time to sit and think. I ended up getting DS out of his bed and bringing him in with me so I could have cuddles. I was up again from 2.30am because of my hands and I haven't been able to get back to sleep. I think this is really affecting my usually rational brain.

It is raining and storming here today, tonight is a full moon so I'm trying to put some faith in the universe that bub will get a move on (or at least give me a few more convincing pains) so I can get beyond Friday.

However, having said all that, I think this is it for me. I think I've done all I can do. I got an amazing package from a wonderful BB woman who I admire so much last night. I really spend time reading the things in there and I felt a moment of clarity. I need to balance what I feel inside as this childs mother with modern medicine. Yes, I wanted this child to choose their birthday but perhaps this is their way of choosing. When I'm quiet and listen deep inside I know that I can sacrifice having a shower in labour, being able to get up and move around, TBH I'd sacrifice anything to have a safe gooey baby placed on my chest.

I feel a bit more a peace today. DH is home any moment so I think once I talk it over with him I'll feel more at ease.

I don't want to have a poor me moment, but I also don't want to fail all you amazing women. I think sometimes courage is having the guts to say I can't go on.

Spring x

[onthefly]

a line in the sand sounds fair enough to me. Hope you're feeling better.
I'm sure it won't be long now

[Michelle71]

Spring - you are not failing us. We are here to give you support in WHATEVER birthing choices you make. If you want to wait it out and let the baby choose - we will be cheering. If you have reached the end point and need that induction - we will be cheering. Ultimately, we are here to cheer you on whatever decision you make, whenever you make it. All we want is a happy, healthy Spring and a happy, healthy bubba

Hell honey, I'd be cheering out loud if you decided you needed a c-section under general!!!! I know DS's birth after Caitlyn was a *blessing* because of the emergency c-section under general. I did all I could to get the vaginal breech delivery but in the end he needed to come out through the sunroof. And I didn't need to wait for him to cry. I still doubted I could do the live baby thing. I knew I could birth him but the rest was still something I wasn't sure I could achieve. For DD I knew I could and her VBAC healed a world of pain.

I have lit my candles this morning. It is cloudy and overcast here and obviously Caitlyn has decided your place is where she will be today. The moon is full and the year is soon to be new. It is a good time to be born - into the new and into a storm.

Your courage is the ability to know your limits and to admit your fears out loud. I am so proud of you

[Spring Angel]

Thank you Michelle It is so reassuring to be understood.

For those of you who are friends on FB I was just thinking, if I do go ahead on Friday I don't want the FB world to know so please just keep it to BB. I"m having difficulty with the 'has the bub arrived' txts already.

[thepixie]

Oh Spring! how awful for you.
I know I speak for all of us when I say there is no way you could let us down. You need to listen to your heart and do what is best for you, physically, mentally, emotionally. We are here to support you in what is right for you. You've come so far, you've reached each goal you've set for yourself. And as for tomorrow, well it's not tomorrow yet.
3cm already, plenty of pains, full moon and all of us wishing your baby into the world with the new year, I'm today is your day!

Your courage is the ability to know your limits and to admit your fears out loud. I am so proud of you

:yeahthat:

[Liviam]

Sweetheart you cannot "fail" us and I think the strength and courage you have shown to go full term is amazing and I knowing when enough is enough is sometimes harder than keeping on going. We are all so incredibly proud of you.
Please don't think that being monitored means you will be tied to the bed. I've been induced with both of my labours and was continuinally monitored with both. I spent a max of 50 minutes on the bed with both of them. I was up and mobile and spent majority of the time in the shower. Our hospital has a waterproof/mobile CTG. It would definitely be worth asking if your hospital does.
All in all gorgeous you are an amazingly strong woman and I'm sending you all the love and labour vibes!! For what it's worth our birth suites are always the busiest when there is a storm and full moon so fingers crossed it gives bubby the gentle nudge in the right direction!!

[BekZ]

Your courage is the ability to know your limits and to admit your fears out loud. I am so proud of you

:yeahthat:

Candle is lit here too sweets