Hi Jaime. It's really hard to stay focussed during really painful contractions and I agree you really need great support to do it.

I strongly recommend having a doula or support person. I think it's also absolutely crucial to have a great midwife with you as well, someone who is experienced with natural birth & know's what she's doing & is confident with it and can make you feel confident and safe and be strong with you.

I'm an absolute wimp with pain, but managed to cope through 3 births without pain relief. Having the twins is the only time I've demanded the anaesthetist, and among other things one of the factors was although I had great support, there was no 'proper' midwife with me. By proper, I mean one that I knew and who was to be with me through to the end, as I'd had with all the other births. I was scared!

If I was having any more kids, I'd know for sure I absolutely had to have my own midwife.

The main factor for staying focussed, I think, is feeling safe. If you have a great midwife with you, you will. When it's really tough, just think about getting through one contraction at a time, and remind yourself that each one is helping open your cervix. Don't be scared of 2nd stage, pushing baby out is easier than getting through the contractions (in my experience). As you build up to transition, it's easy to think you don't want to/can't go any further. The increasing intensity of the contractions is hard to accept, but you need to accept it! I've found when I get to the point where I'm saying I can't do it any more etc, I'm in transition & nearly there. And when you do get there, you might find it eases off for a bit before you push, the 'rest & be thankful' stage.

Gotta go, baby crying, which is good because I could waffle on here for ages, lol.