I've already had my next time, and got most of them, but this was my list:
I will be 'better' at managing a quick labour.
I will see labour as a challenge, a challenge I can do and do well! Bring it on!
I will get in the bath or shower if I have time.
I will use my knowledge and experience from last time to be less scared.
I will not be induced.
I will not labour on my back (first time I was trying to rest and save my other positions for when you need to pull out the big guns, turns out that time had already been and gone and I had done a fair wack of transition on my back - oops!)
I will not be in so much shock that I won't remember most of it.
I will not throw up so much!
The only one I didn't get was the not being induced one, but it wasn't a huge deal, first induction was one lots of gels and all over bar the shouting, second induction was AROM and a similar result, so it didn't have a bit impact on the whole event.
Last edited by Sagres; March 14th, 2012 at 01:07 PM.
I will do pretty much the same thing as last time, except:
I will ask DH to slosh me with Rescue Remedy when I hit transition panic time.
I will ask DH to announce baby's gender.
I will lie down more postnatally.
Next time (in 7 weeks or so), I'm going with a private obs who supports VBAC and isn't just 'letting me try'. I'm demanding bby be with me post birth, regardless if it's VBAC or repeat CS. Why is that it DH was deemed able to hold our newborn upstairs on ward, yet not able to stay with me in recovery and hold baby with me????
I've found out what the obs' policies are on going overdue, length of labouring for VBA2C etc, rather than having public hospy policy thrown at me whilst in labour.
We've got our gorgeous doula again, I've been doing acupuncture, chiro and alternative healing before this birth and I'm not listenting to relative's advice that b/c I have big babies surely it's better I just have an elect caesar this time??? (always said by mothers who've never had a caesar or difficult recovery).
Again, will be ignoring the midwives and maternal health nurses about the need to top up, FF my baby (the GP's and paed's seem to be ok with my kids, just the nurses freak out about them dropping down the percentiles). DS2 went from the high 90th% down to 10-25th and he's now a healthy 2.5 yr old, so hopefully just fully BF again.
And definately want to get in the shower this time - monitoring or no monitoring - just going to do what I want!
Y'know, about the only thing I'd change about the Penguin's birth is I'd remember to ask for the bath. Even with everything that happened, every decision that was made was an agreement between me, my OB and the midwives or was made with our (mine and Penguin's) best interests at heart.
Next time I will:
Try to focus on the details more, my labour and birth was so fast it was a blur and DH reminded me of many of the details I had forgotten later.
Hope like crazy this baby isn't as early as DS was and wont need SCN attention so my baby isn't whisked off almost straight away
Next time I wont:
Accept visitors when I am tired, I am going to use that DO NOT DISTURB sign ALOT!
Listen to all the different midwives advice and just stick with the ones I connect with
I was lucky that I had a great labour and birth, there is nothing I regret as such, but it would have been nice to have my baby in my arms instead of an incubator for the first 2 days
I'm pretty lucky with DD2s birth there wasn't much I wanted to alter but
I will rest more after the birth
I will get to term ( this I have achieved)
As I'm at term I will get the option of a water birth
I will discharge home early if we are both well
I will be as active in labour as I was with dd2
I will cherish my last birth experience however it proceeds
I will not put up with visitors overstaying there welcome by hours!
Like dd I will listen to when I feel I need to go to hospital and not when the midwives say so (early labour didn't exist for me even though the midwives insisted I stay home)
Id like to think I won't panic - I didn't with dd but since developed panic disorder so I must work on feeling comfortable with not knowing what the new baby will bring.
I will stay in my own world
Unlike dd
I will NOT have pethadine
I will find something to focus on other than the pain - ill be doing pregnancy yoga and mindfulness
I will get naked so I can have complete skin in skin contact
I will ensure I get some direction - I felt completely lost during dds birth and before I knew it the forceps were used and there she was
I haven't decided yet on whether or not to have dd there - dh completely disagrees with her being there but I think she would get so emersed in the whole experience she would probably help me focus more than anyone else.
Just realised that there will probably not be a next time...
Just splitting with DH now...took 7 years to conceive DS and I am 38 this year. Not looking good.
However I think probably if there was another time, I wonder if being in a better relationship and having more control over my life would make a difference to my attitude in labour...alongside having been there done that??? Oh well I guess that is one thing I will never know.
Some really great replies here, I could definitely add a few to my list of 'wills'
Like remembering the goodie bag, and using its contents during labour
-having a photo of my newborn DS to motivate me
some more will nots -
I will not be induced again unless it's absolutely necessary. Or unless my waters are broken for 4 days and no baby has emerged, again...
I will not listen when the MW tells me not to scream. Sometimes you just need to scream a bit at the peak of a contraction, sometimes you need the gas. I like to alternate!
Thanks for all your interesting responses, keep them coming please!
If im lucky enough to be blessed with another healthy baby, i will do it all exactly like i did with DS birth (birth story recently been posted Roman Oliver), just at a slower pace, not that you can control that, but everything about his birth was just how i wanted it, except the speed of it, wayyyyyyyyyyyy too fast, felt a bit shortchanged to say the least.
Next time I will...
freebirth at home.
eat the sodding jaffa cakes and not let them sit in a corner of the room when I want to eat them. And I'll do the "full moon, half moon, total eclipse" thing too.
play (and majorly win at) scrabble and hold a full-on conversation if I find something interesting and not give a toss that it may be freaking out people who aren't used to birth like that, because quite frankly I am not reading from a script. Oh wait, already did that. It did rock. I'll do it again - have to wait until Liebs can play scrabble now, unless I substitute for snakes and ladders.
Next time I will not...
involve my husband beyond conception unless he well and truly redeems himself.
involve any medical staff beyond getting my maternity NHS card and the GD tests done, unless I happen to find one I really like for antenatal appointments.
allow people to bully and torture me - there is nothing stopping me from walking away, even in full labour and pushing I could do that (and did walk quite happily when I was "allowed"). Not that I'll have people around, but the thought's there.
I have been lucky and had 2 pretty awesome births, although both quite different (first time I had an epidural, second was a waterbirth). But, next time I will
- remember to take photos, or have someone with me who's job it is to remember - both times DH and I forgot.
- not invite DH's family straight after the birth. I love having my Mum & sisters come, but DH's whole family came and well and truly outstayed their welcome.
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