Next time I will...
freebirth at home.
eat the sodding jaffa cakes and not let them sit in a corner of the room when I want to eat them. And I'll do the "full moon, half moon, total eclipse" thing too.
play (and majorly win at) scrabble and hold a full-on conversation if I find something interesting and not give a toss that it may be freaking out people who aren't used to birth like that, because quite frankly I am not reading from a script. Oh wait, already did that. It did rock. I'll do it again - have to wait until Liebs can play scrabble now, unless I substitute for snakes and ladders.

Next time I will not...
involve my husband beyond conception unless he well and truly redeems himself.
involve any medical staff beyond getting my maternity NHS card and the GD tests done, unless I happen to find one I really like for antenatal appointments.
allow people to bully and torture me - there is nothing stopping me from walking away, even in full labour and pushing I could do that (and did walk quite happily when I was "allowed"). Not that I'll have people around, but the thought's there.