I'm going to pop this into the labour forum for you
Second labours are generally much shorter than first labours so it is unlikely that you will be in labour for so long. Being upright can help with the length and ease of labour so that is something to keep in mind.
You can help your DH/DP (other support people) help you by telling them the ways in which they have to be your advocate. They can tell the staff not to take your baby away because you want it to stay with you. They can tell the ob that you don't want to hear the c word until it is 100% nessescary and so on.
You don't need to feel like you have no right to be upset because other people had worse experiences than you. Just because you think someone else had it worse than you that doesn't mean that your pain isn't valid. if we all followed this thinking then no-one would be able to own their pain because there is always someone worse off...
My advice would be to look into a good support person or doula who can advocate for you. Then those worries can be lifted off your shoulders, knowing that if the issue comes up, there will be someone there who can go in to bat for you while you can stay focussed.
What the others have all said, but I also found that writing my birth story has helped a lot and having big cries while writing it has been so beneficial in processing the event. I just give myself 15 mins every few weeks and I type into a word document a paragraph or two. I still haven't finished it but I find that sometimes I sit for ages typing but I start with 15 mins as sometimes it seems a bit overwhelming to even get started. And definately a doula would be really helpful, as mentioned and reading some really empowering literature on positive birthing. My first labout and delivery wasn't what I had planned or hoped for but am ready for a second one! It does take some work but is highly do-able.
oh I hear you hun. I was the same when I got pregnant with Chase. Jaidans birth was horrific. 47.5 hours, serious tearing and it was just terrible. I was in hospital for 9 days because I couldn't walk and everything hurt so bad, my recovery was long and painful and that was with a natural vaginal delivery, I didn't have any intervention except epi. I had so many doctors and nurses in there because Jaidan was stuck. Eventually they realised that while I was dialated my cervix was still partially closed over so poor Jaidan was banging his head against a closed hole so to speak. They had to forcefully and painfully open it and Jaidan was born a sick little bubba because of the long stressful delivery and spent a few days in NICU with sepsis and breathing dificulties. So when I fell pregnant with Chase I was so so scared of what I was going to go through.
But Chases delivery was lovely. I actually enjoyed it. I got to birth on my side and guide him out myself. I had one midwife there with me not 100, and no doctors. It was very personal, intimate and special. His is the one I treasure (Ashton is a whole other story!).
Just because you have one bad birth experience, doesn't mean that the second one can't be a lovely one to remember.
Reply With Quote
My advice would be to look into a good support person or doula who can advocate for you. Then those worries can be lifted off your shoulders, knowing that if the issue comes up, there will be someone there who can go in to bat for you while you can stay focussed.
Bookmarks