oh I hear you hun. I was the same when I got pregnant with Chase. Jaidans birth was horrific. 47.5 hours, serious tearing and it was just terrible. I was in hospital for 9 days because I couldn't walk and everything hurt so bad, my recovery was long and painful and that was with a natural vaginal delivery, I didn't have any intervention except epi. I had so many doctors and nurses in there because Jaidan was stuck. Eventually they realised that while I was dialated my cervix was still partially closed over so poor Jaidan was banging his head against a closed hole so to speak. They had to forcefully and painfully open it and Jaidan was born a sick little bubba because of the long stressful delivery and spent a few days in NICU with sepsis and breathing dificulties. So when I fell pregnant with Chase I was so so scared of what I was going to go through.

But Chases delivery was lovely. I actually enjoyed it. I got to birth on my side and guide him out myself. I had one midwife there with me not 100, and no doctors. It was very personal, intimate and special. His is the one I treasure (Ashton is a whole other story!).

Just because you have one bad birth experience, doesn't mean that the second one can't be a lovely one to remember.