What the others have all said, but I also found that writing my birth story has helped a lot and having big cries while writing it has been so beneficial in processing the event. I just give myself 15 mins every few weeks and I type into a word document a paragraph or two. I still haven't finished it but I find that sometimes I sit for ages typing but I start with 15 mins as sometimes it seems a bit overwhelming to even get started. And definately a doula would be really helpful, as mentioned and reading some really empowering literature on positive birthing. My first labout and delivery wasn't what I had planned or hoped for but am ready for a second one! It does take some work but is highly do-able.