Sue's Story *May Be Upsetting*

[sangie]

Oh poor Sue and what a tragedy for her and her family. I hope that she is going to be ok.

Golden Staph is a risk for any type of surgery, as if surgery isn't bad enough without having after effects to worry about. I think sometimes people forget that c/s is surgery and I have had to remind a few people about that..........happy to say that I helped a friend go through a vaginal birth even though she was so petrified and insistent on having a c/s. Of course not saying I am against c/s but don't understand why some women think its better than natural delivery???

[BellyBelly]

Exactly - I think fear can be worked though, a woman empowered and nurtured - but working through something like golden staph or any of these infections which are getting harder to treat are even harder to work through. I know c/s is required sometimes too and thank god we have that kind of surgery when needed, but is the risk worth it unneccesarily? Fear can be worked with....

[Lynn]

Sometimes the risk and benefits needs to be weighed up. I can't speak for everyone that chooses a c/s but I can for a small number of people I know - fear of losing another baby is enough to outweigh the risk of a c/s. Alot people say that they aren't against c/s if it is for a medical reason, but what about psychological reasons. Sometimes the risk is necessary and while it is easy to say that you can work with fear, it isn't that easy to trust your own body when it has failed you before. Having said that I have not made up my mind about how I will birth this baby, for me both ways have risks, it is about working out which one out weighs the other.

[Alan]

I am not against CS in some cases it can save the life of bub and/or mum, I am against someone requesting or being pressured in to opting for a CS with a valid medical reason. Research has shown that babies born by a CS 3 times more likely to suffer irreversible damage or even death than babies born vaginally.

[Alan]

Check out this thread
article - unnecessary caesarians (long)

[BellyBelly]

Spring Angel has recently overcome this opting for a vaginal birth after loss. Maybe she can comment in here as to how she was able to overcome grief...

[Lynn]

It can also depend on the way a baby is lost so hearing someone else's story is not neccessarily going to help in the decision making. Spring is one of my very good friends so I do talk to her regularly and she has shared her story with me but we have lost our bubs in different ways so it isn't as easy as that.

[BellyBelly]

I am not trying to make anyone feel bad here, the fear I was talking about fear of pain but then loss was also brought into it. Loss is one of the things which is more complex and when I was interviewed for Mothers Matter this week, I did say that it's a reason I think c/s should be available to women. I am not trying to trivialise it or whatever so I hope you can see what I mean without dismissing the issue as a whole. I don't see the point in not talking about risks when unnecessary intervention is used and unfortunately someone is going to get offended no matter what you talk about with birth and feeding your baby. It's silly to have to write (not all of them, some of them) just like I have to do with Obs now, after everything I write... I am sure the majority knew what I meant.

It's not women's faults that birth has become like this.

[Spring Angel]

Wow, this is intense stuff. Firstly, I hope that Sue is recovering well, what a awful thing to have had to endure.

For me giving birth vaginally was what I needed to do. Apart from a few weeks at the begining of my pregnancy where I thought about a c-secion, a vaginal birth was the only way I was going to give birth and towards the end of my pregnancy I was actually scared of the possibility of having a c-section. It took a lot of work both mentally and emotionally to find the strength to trust my body again, and to let go of the blame I felt for losing Harrison. If I couldn't keep him alive, why should I let myself believe that I could keep this baby alive.

I needed to re-write my birthing history. I will never ever forget my baby boy Harry and I will love him until the day I die, but his birth was very traumatic for me and I didn't want to live my life with my only memory of labour being the image of my beautiful still little boy. I still often stop and my mind wanders to his birth, I am no where near close processing those feelings and the impact that have had upon me as a person.

I needed to feel empowered, I needed to take back my body, to know that I could do it. I wanted to feel that pain, that rush, I didn't want drugs to dull those natural urges, I didn't want people around me saying I couldn't/shouldn't/wouldn't, I needed people to say I could/I will/ I should. I found a wonderful Doula who helped me with this, and I thank the universe for my DH, he was with my, engaged, with every deep breath and every push 'I love you', 'you are amazing', 'you can do this' was all I heard.

I had a list of mantras before I went in, allowing myself to open up, to feel my baby, to change my dialouge, it is not pain, it is good, healthy, natural. It is a surge. Embrace it, don't fight it. Allow yourself to be engulfed in the physical feelings, the emotion.

And I did it, I got the birth that I needed. Instead of my still little angel, I had a squirming, screaming boy, who nestled into my bust, his body cradled in mine.

I do have regrets, I wish I had waited for spontaneous labour and not been induced, but it was what I needed to do to get through those days. Having a date to aim, knowing that I only had to keep my baby alive for another month, another week, another day was why I chose an induction.

For this reason I can totally understand and totally respect the decision to have a c-section. It was not a choice I made, but if my circumstances had have been different it may have been a choice I would make. I had an urge to have a vaginal birth, perhaps it is not something that can be explained. I wanted to breath my baby out.

For those people who have lost a child, it is such a confusing path. What should I do? Am I going to loose another baby, am I tempting luck, how will I ever survive if it happens again? So I guess as long as women know their choices, are informed of their options and don't feel pressured to make a decision either way, then whatever birth they choose, is the right choice.

Lv Spring

[New Dawn]

Wow SP what a corragess woman you are dont know if I could have gone down the same path but you did what was right for you.. Proved that you could do it and you did well done !!!!