It sounds like anxiety to me. You need proper care for yourself during pg be ause it's a very vulnerable time. Can you hire an independent midwife to take to the hospital (or stay home?)

Your fainting descriptions have been mainly tied to things done to you, such as breaking waters and canula, and the pain from being stitched. So I think you need an advocate who will stop people touching you or intervening without your desire.

I am a fainter and fainted often in pg. they could watch your blood pressure as that is a good indication that you might faint.

Sorry I'm on the phone, and there's so much to unpack here...but I wanted to say all your fears are justified and you need help and support to move through them.

Pregnancy is a time of deep reflection for me, so I understand the way fears present themselves...I don't think it's depression.