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Thread: WDYT of this, im a bit horrified...

  1. #19

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    I think it's natural for you to be concerned about whether your brother and SIL are making informed decisions rather than just doing what the Ob tells them to do without questioning it. And I think it's normal to be horrified if you think they are making uninformed decisions. I think it's a whole other thing to question and judge them for those decisions, to their faces at least.



    I'm constantly saddened when I hear stories like this one, where I consider uninformed decisions are being made and women (and their partners) are subjecting themselves and their babies to interventions without knowing the full facts. My own SIL had a c-section because her baby was "too big" to be birthed vaginally - the baby was only 3.1kg in the end (smaller than my baby!), but her Ob "wouldn't let her go past 38 weeks" because he considered her baby was too big. Now, I was sad for my SIL and her baby that she made that decision, which I considered was an uninformed one, but I didn't tell her that. I figured it wasn't my place to educate her, and who am I to judge? (Obviously I am judging her, but not to her face! ).

    I suppose what I'm saying is that I understand where you're coming from, and I think I would feel the same way if I were in the same situation. But I probably would bite my tongue - because I know what it's like to have people express their opinions about my decisions, even when it's none of their business.

    Wishing little Isaac a safe arrival.

  2. #20

    Join Date
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    okay , I value all your input and I understand this is a forum and everyone is entitled to their opinion, I put this out there, therefore I need to wear it, but can I just make it clear that

    1, The answer to my original question was answered by Beema, being that yes, delivery at 37 weeks is a common scenario in this type of situation.
    2, I probably should have put most of that OP in the venting/punching bag forum, it is what it is, a vent, its how I FEEL,
    3, I came back to this thread when I saw that slyder had posted, assuming it was all over and done with, to react quite strongly to his words, I walked away from my computer shaking and ended up having a good cry, I was VERY ****ed off but made myself calm down and actually think about WHY, before I came back to post.
    4, Nothing I have said to my SIL has been in any way shape or form, rude, obnoxious or even pushy, it was all said in friendly conversation,I have bitten my tongue in regard to this situation and their whole pregnancy, as I know its not my place to say anything, I come to BB and get it all out here. I feel as if some of you have just jumped to conclusions about how I have treated her and my brother. THAT is what saddens me, and angers me, but you know what, I probably havent made my OP very clear in that respect and on a forum it is all to easy to jump on your high horse (as I have done) and jump to conclusions as you dont know the full story, only what I have written.
    I will leave it at that.
    Again thankyou for your replies. xx

  3. #21
    slyder Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by STARRYSKY View Post
    3, I came back to this thread when I saw that slyder had posted, assuming it was all over and done with, to react quite strongly to his words, I walked away from my computer shaking and ended up having a good cry, I was VERY ****ed off but made myself calm down and actually think about WHY, before I came back to post.
    Crikey. I have a gift I think. I don't get why this happens. I know I don't wrap my posts up in :hugs: and "huns" and dilly dally around the point and whatever, but I'm just one opinion in a community of many thousands. It's the Internet, if you don't like my opinion (which you invited) just call me a knob and move on. I'm cool with that. I can't stand the thought of making a woman cry because of something I said in an open and honest fashion without any malice or ill will. I can't deal with that. Sometimes I nearly walk away from this place all together because I just can't comprehend the sensitivities and the blow ups and the fact that so many strident views are passable here, but a differing opinion (expressed without fluff) is so intensely offensive. Anyway, Slyder sook ends here.

    Quote Originally Posted by STARRYSKY View Post
    I feel as if some of you have just jumped to conclusions about how I have treated her and my brother. THAT is what saddens me, and angers me, but you know what, I probably havent made my OP very clear in that respect and on a forum it is all to easy to jump on your high horse (as I have done) and jump to conclusions as you dont know the full story, only what I have written.
    No high horse here, not even a medium sized one; just working with what I was given.

    Anyway, God, it's just my opinion and you specifically asked people what they thought so I said...

    Peace out.
    Last edited by slyder; July 20th, 2010 at 11:44 PM. Reason: addition and stuff

  4. #22

    Default WDYT of this, im a bit horrified...

    Just to clarify, I certainly didn't think you had treated your bro and SIL badly. I also thought you were just venting, but my response probably didnt reflect that. I understand exactly where you're coming from and why you wanted to vent.

    (cause I do dress my posts up with hugs )

  5. #23

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    See this is where I see you being a concerned Aunty to Isaac and good SIL.

    My point was that sometimes people seem like they are making the wrong choice in your eyes - but that each person is entitled to their decisions.

    Enjoy your new nephew once he is here sweetheart

  6. #24

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    I am glad I was able to answer your questions for you hun, and hope that all goes well for them ove the next 7 weeks to the safe delivery of Master Issac xxoo

    Just my 2 cents..... maybe more of the responses could have actually looked more at the questions that STARRYSKY asked on the subject at hand which was Polyhydrominous and the reasons for potential early delivery, and not just focus on one portion of the original post

  7. #25

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    Ok, knowing that there may be a very valid reason why they are doing this and you kinda understand that, at some point you have to choose between having what you really want (did you know if she possibly did want a natural vaginal birth?) and pushing on with the pg (pardon the pun LOL) at the risk of something going wrong, or do you make a compromise for the safety and health of the baby? Often we are faced with decisions and even though we know we don't want the alternative sometimes we have no other choice but to take it ITMS. Being a Birth Activist isn't just about extolling the virtues natural, intervention free vaginal births - it's about supporting the right of women to choose how she wants to give birth and this is what she has chosen It may not be what you or I would choose, but this is what she has chosen.

    What you should do now is redirect your energies to offer her support for when she has her c/s. Possibly even talk to her about what options she has in the way of having bubs in recovery with her (if he is well enough) and be there for her if she needs to talk about this. She may have shut you out about this because maybe she is feeling like a bit of a failure/let herself and bubs down and I know that when you are feeling like that, it's not helpful to have someone question what you have chosen to do so your first instinct is to shut down kwim?

  8. #26

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    Thread closed at OP request.

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