Were you scared beforehand and how did you remedy that?

[Arimeh]

Just wanting to know how many other people (who are willing to admit it!) were scared before going into labour. So during your pregnancy, the thought of having a baby (vaginally) scared the heckers outta ya.

After having DS by c-section I was surprised that my SIL admitted that she was scared about going into labour with her 3rd child. I genuinely thought I was the only person in the world who was scared of labouring - scared of the pain, scared of the unknown.

Just wondering if it is a common thing and if you were scared, how did you deal with that? Did you get rid of your fears before birth or did you carry them into your labour with you?

[FabFiona]

I don't know that I was ever scared. I guess the knowledge that I wasn't the first woman to have a baby and wouldn't be the last comforted me. However I was apprehensive of how I would cope so I used hypnobirthing that I found on iTunes. Best thing ever.

[LimeSlice]

I was scared that I would bleed to death.
And that was my fear this time as well.

Of course, there are other things I am scared of - UR, prolapse, breech birth, distress, a repeat c.s.... but all those things I think are just normal risks of birth, they aren't controllable largely by me, so I choose not to let them live rent free in my head.

The biggest fear I had was that I would haemorrhage and die on the bedroom floor.

I am tackling it with some hypno exercises and self education - I can't control if it happens, but there are things I can do to help prevent it, there are things I can do to recognise it if it is happening and there are measures I can take to stop it happening once I do recognise it. Accepting that I can only do what I can do and giving myself over to the rest is helping greatly.
I no longer fear it, but I am preparing for it should it happen, and that gives me power, strength and control.


What are you scared of? Are you still scared of the "pain" even though you laboured and birthed previously? Or do you have a new fear this time around?

[Arimeh]

What are you scared of? Are you still scared of the "pain" even though you laboured and birthed previously? Or do you have a new fear this time around?

Currently I'm not that scared of anything, I've read Childbirth without fear and that helped tremendously! I guess I'm worried (not scared exactly) that last time was a fluke and this time I won't be able to do it, and then I'm also concerned that the baby will come quickly and I'll have it at home by myself... lol... and I'm probably concerned as to how I will manage the contractions, cos I want to do better than I did last time, cos I don't think the screaming and wailing were really helping me then...... lol

[helle]

I was scared that both me and bub would die during birth. Dunno why.
Pain wise, no. It had to happen so there wasn't any point in wasting energy worrying about it.

I'm like you tho, I had a drug free birth the first time with no tearing and worry it was a fluke.

[LimeSlice]

lol Fair enough!

I reckon you should have a look at the HypnoBirth stuff, it focusses on exactly that - the way to handle the contractions, or surges, and gives you some awesome methods to help.

[~Hestia~]

Yep, I honestly thought I was going to die. I never thought anything was going to go wrong for DS. But I was quite certain I was going to die.

Once I got in there I forgot about it, except towards the end but I hear that's pretty normal

[MrsFabuloso]

I'm not scared of birth, I'm not looking forward to labour, I want a natural labour and to do it all myself again and I am hoping I get the high I felt after I had DS, that feeling of such a great accomplishment. I am terrorfied of having a C/S or another induction again. Any medical intervention scares me. I was also a bit worried about haemmorraging since I had done so quite severly with my first angel, as well as moderately with DD both times to the point of needing several bags of blood. I did a little with DS, but it was managable for me, cept when I fainted after the midwives ordered me to have a shower, even thoguh I told them I would faint!

[TeniBear]

I was a bit scared when I was a teenager and didn't really know much about birth. But once I started finding out more about how our bodies work, I was less scared. That got lessened even more once I joined BB and read everything I could about birth, the good and the bad. Information is power, as they say.

Then I actually gave birth, and now I'm actually looking forward to it this time! I know it's going to be very different (not least because this one's going to be alive!) but I only really think of good things when I think "birth" now.

[ezymay]

I don't remember being scared with dd even with being induced but I am more scared this time round. I really want a natural drug free labour and I'm scared I won't get it or can't do it! I'm also super terrified of tearing this time round. It seems being clueless first time round was good for me lol.

[thepixie]

I was intermittently crapping myself and in denial. I think I dealt with it mainly via denial. Things I was scared of... most of all serious tearing. then being induced, failing to progress and needing a c/section. Long long labour followed by c/section. forceps. ventouse. episiotomy. didn't really think about haemorrhage but probably would have freaked out about that if it occurred to me. TBH (and I am sure lots of people will disagree) I think a certain amount of fear about labour is natural, and even sensible. Birth can be scary, it has a lot of possibilities that can't be known in advance and can't necessarily be controlled in the moment. To me, any event which involves pain of unknown amounts, for an unknown duration and which can result in the death or permanent injury of one or more people involved is something that should inspire a certain amount of healthy fear. Not to dwell on it, or anything, but just to recognise that this is a natural force and natural forces can at times be scary, dangerous and unpredictable. Birth can also be calm, peaceful, beautiful and triumphant, but like most things in nature there is a duality there - the miracle of life is balanced by danger and fear. JMO.
Anyway, this time I am most scared that the baby won't start breathing (which is what happened with DD). It's not an overly rational fear, as there is no reason for it to happen. But there was no reason for it to happen with DD so I have a fear that maybe my babies just don't know how to breathe
ETA I am in the medical insurance industry so it is entirely possible that my view of these things is somewhat skewed by seeing the worst case scenarios through work. Also I am a lot less scared of the actual birth process this time as I have BTDT.

[Lisa]

I'm not so much afraid of the labour or birth, but I am dreading the contractions. Let's face it, they're not fun, they're not pleasent and to me they are the worst part. I just keep reminding myself that they're for a good reason and they don't do damage and eventually go away.

[Lily Dust]

This is gonna sound absurd but I was actually scared that I wasnt scared of labour. Does that make sense I figured after an awful pregnancy labour had to be better! I also read a book that was based on the fear= tension= pain theory and figured that if I was scared then it would hurt so much more. But unfortunately when women are pregnant there are way too many horror stories that do the rounds and not enough of the beautiful birth stories. I was concerned about tearing but at the end of the day I couldnt prevent that even though I tried so hard.

[skybie]

hun im onto hopefully VB #3 and im pooing my pants at the thought of the pain again! everytime i get a niggle my stomach lurches as i think about whats to come!
i dont think i'll carry it into labour once i get going though, i know this labour will be a long one though, we dont know whats going to happen after he's born, so i think my subconcious mind will try and keep him in there

[Jellyfish]

Yep, petrified. I used to lie awake at night wishing and wishing and wishing I didn't have to get the baby out of my body or that there was some magic way because I could not do it, I just couldn't... but I had to and that's all there was to it, you know? I never got over the panic and dread, really but in the moment it was just like well, what else can I do but do it? To be honest, I didn't want to know anything but that's just the way I am, if I knew all the what ifs then I would drive myself crazy over-thinking and analysing it all so I opted out of all pre-natal education classes and stuck my head in the sand a little but it worked for me, the whole 'just do it, don't think it' technique haha had a decent birth -- spontaneous labour at 38w, no drugs and a tiny graze which didn't require stitches (came out with an arm up next to her head). I do often think that it was a fluke, I was just lucky and don't really feel any pride or accomplishment in it all because I never did do that research/preparation, just sort of winged it -- feel a bit like a fake/cheat or something? I don't know but yeah, I was scaaaaared.

I don't think anything could have made me feel comfortable with it all so I just kept reminding myself that there wasn't any other option, the baby was going to come out whether I was ready or not and yeah, the whole, millions of people do this everyday thing too. Straight after I was a bit like 'wow, I want to do that again' but I think that high has faded...

[Tinks]

I was petrified with all 3 of mine. There wasn't a day where i didn't think that I had to get this baby out of me! It would seriously send me into cold sweats.

I used to try to tell myself that I'd done it before and it wasn't that bad, wouldn't last long and that the pain would be over as soon as I held my baby. It didn't stop me stressing though.

I wish I'd had BB when i was pregnant.

[Miss.September]

Terrified. It didn't help that my ob told me I had a large baby and I had a small pelvis, plus the added worry of fibroids in the birth canal. If it was a c/s and a fibroid was cut during that, then yep, I'd be leaving Earthside.

I carried the fear through the early stages of labour, into the hospital and for the first few hours. Gas didn't work, pethadine did bugger all and they couldn't get the epidural into my back. At that point, about four hours before DD was born, my head space changed. I was in agony and tired, but I told myself "Only you can do this. You're going to do it." And it killed the fear and I did it! DD was born with a bit of forceps help!

[angelaartsstudent]

I wasn't scared at all, but I am a person who is generally not afraid of pain anyway. I didn't do any training into breathing or calmbirthing or anyway...I figured that mammals have been giving birth for millions of years and my body would know what to do.

However...After 36 hours of drug free back-to-back labour (which I was incredibly calm throughout, according to staff), 3 hours of pushing, DD going nowhere (she was jammed in very nicely), contractions stopping, vacuum extraction (that one that looks like a plunger on a chain, is that a vacuum?), episiotomy, a huge PPH and 4 days in ICU, I didn't want to do it again. But the whole shock of it didn't come until recently, when I became pregnant again. Until now, I just assumed it was all normal things to happen...I assumed all women favoured totally drug free labours and that DDs birth was 100% normal, and I was so wrong LOL. I only recently learnt that it doesn't even class as a natural birth becuase she was dragged out.

I was very calm through the whole thing - even the pushing, episiotomy and etc, mainly I think becuase it was my first time and by the time the PPH happened, I was so damn tired that I didn't care. I remember feeling the blood pour out and not being able to stop it...and I very clearly remember thinking "I hope this Dr is good at his job becuase I'm in his hands now". I knew there was nothing else me or my body could do, I'd reached my limit.

I *was* scared out of my brain about doing it again this time but as my pregnancy has progressed, I have the same sort of peace and trust in my body as the first time. This labour and birth will probably be completely different.

Does any of that make sense? I'm not sure.

I am however, scared out of my brains of Epidurals...not needles in general, just Epidurals...and will do whatever I can to avoid one! :-D