Yep, petrified. I used to lie awake at night wishing and wishing and wishing I didn't have to get the baby out of my body or that there was some magic way because I could not do it, I just couldn't... but I had to and that's all there was to it, you know? I never got over the panic and dread, really but in the moment it was just like well, what else can I do but do it? To be honest, I didn't want to know anything but that's just the way I am, if I knew all the what ifs then I would drive myself crazy over-thinking and analysing it all so I opted out of all pre-natal education classes and stuck my head in the sand a little but it worked for me, the whole 'just do it, don't think it' technique haha had a decent birth -- spontaneous labour at 38w, no drugs and a tiny graze which didn't require stitches (came out with an arm up next to her head). I do often think that it was a fluke, I was just lucky and don't really feel any pride or accomplishment in it all because I never did do that research/preparation, just sort of winged it -- feel a bit like a fake/cheat or something? I don't know but yeah, I was scaaaaared.

I don't think anything could have made me feel comfortable with it all so I just kept reminding myself that there wasn't any other option, the baby was going to come out whether I was ready or not and yeah, the whole, millions of people do this everyday thing too. Straight after I was a bit like 'wow, I want to do that again' but I think that high has faded...