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Thread: what everyones telling me

  1. #19

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    wow guys thanks heaps for ur support i hate that ppl just condem my hopes before i have even gone through it... its a wait and see thing for me yes i would like to go without but if its unbearable then i iwll be asking for drugs my boss told me that she regrets not having an epidural earlier in the labour and that i should get one asap because holding out the whole time is just not possible... maybe thats the case for her and maybe even me when it gets to it and thats fine but let me try!!!


  2. #20

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    Noni, You can go without the epidural if you believe you can. I used gas and pethidine, but if I could do it all over again, i think I would try without the peth as it made me dizzy and I cant remember any of the labour while the peth was in my system which freaks me out. When I went to antenatal classes and was shown how the epidural is done, that was enough for me to not want one. The whole idea of it just freaked me out. When I was in labour, i didnt feel that I needed the epidural, but everyone is different. I can see why some people opt for it though. You are a strong person and can do this, so dont listen to all the negativity that those other people are giving you.

  3. #21

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    Noni, when I was pg with my first, I was dead against having pain relief during labour. Unfortunately I wasn't very well prepared and ended up being pressured into an epidural. When I was pg the 2nd time, I read New Active Birth and practised breathing thru painful bhs. My 2nd labour was a very intense, painful, short labour (3 hrs) and believe me, short labours aren't all good. My pains were on top of each other and full strength the entire time. Also, I was recovering from 4 days of gastro and was dehydrated. But after my reading & practising, I immediately found a position that worked for me (sort of kneeling and leaning forward). I got through with just gas (didn't have time for anything else but this was a good thing as it took away the temptation). Afterwards I was mobile straight away and I felt fantastic. So much better than after my first birth. That has definitely made up my mind. If there is a next time (and there well might be!!), I would NOT have an epidural again. Sure, at the time the epidural takes the pain away, but afterwards you feel so much better for not having had it. Physically and emotionally. It is a huge feeling of empowerment to birth (almost) naturally. Maybe next time I'll manage without the gas!

  4. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaJill View Post
    Thats right, its not like Teeth where made to be ripped from our gums! But our uterus was made for pushing out a baby.
    Thats what i think as well. This is the way we where created, and babies where made to come out this way. Whilst i think a trap door in our tums would of been a better idea (God was certainly male), our bodies where designed to birth babies, and we have been doing it for 1000's of years.

  5. #23

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    Nonie

    I had no pain relief with my first labour, and I intend on doing the same with my second. Everyone who I have told that I had a completely natural labour says "are you mad?" and now, being so close to having this one, they all ask if I am booked in for a c-section as it seems the norm these days. They are all amazed that I intend on letting my body do what I trust it can do. I think trusting your body is the key with pain relief, as pain is a scary thing, and child birth does hurt. So long as you trust your body and have a good support team, I am sure you can do anything!

  6. #24

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    kwum about being asked about c section ppl think this will be less painfull?? what about the recovery of a gaping hole in the abdomen?? painfree is it??? and what about not being able to lift your baby or anything else? i know in an emergency or whatever some ppl don't have a choice but i get annoyed when ppl ask me if i am having an elective c/s i am like at this point in time what reason would i have to even consider that at 3 months pregnant with one child???

  7. #25

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    Noni e - yep I'd recommend 'new active birth' by Janet Balaskas. I trusted my body would do what it was meant to, and had no drugs at all with Caty. Stayed at home as long as I could (in the bath mostly) and went into hossy to find I was already 10cm!!

    I totally don't get the 'don't be a matyr, just get an epidural' comments. I think it just makes other people feel better when they choose drugs during labour? Which is fine as it's a personal choice. But it certainly wasn't a horrific experience for me, it was most fantastic actually! Pain was totally worth it and manageable. Plus the hormones you make during and after birth are AWESOME! I was awake til 4am after an 11.56pm birth

    A few of my DH's workmates/boss were all like 'ah, you'll be screaming for the epidural' and I must say it was most satisfying to hear DH on the phone after the birth singing my praises and saying how proud he was of me!

    If I didn't have Bellybelly (and God!) I doubt I would have had such a great birth.

  8. #26

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    Nonie, I agree with everyone else, don't listen to these people. You have no idea how YOU will cope with your labour until YOU are in labour! It is ridiculous to try to paint everyone with the same brush.

    With my DD I really, really wanted to try to have a drug free labour if it was possible, I was really scared of having an epidural (my grandfather had one for a minor surgery once and woke up paralysed from the waist down - for the first few days they didn't know if it was going to be permanent or not, luckily it wasn't, but it has really turned me off epidurals) BUT was going to wait and see how I went and keep an open mind.

    As it turned out, I had a reeeeeeeeally long labour (72 hours), I did most of the work at home, by the time I got to the hospital I was 8cm dialated and only then did I have some gas. That's all I needed. I am very proud of the way I laboured, even though I thought it was never going to end!

    Everyone is different, don't listen to people who are trying to put you off with their negativity.

  9. #27

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    Hey Nonie, (as usual) I'm seconding what Cat said, you can't forget your body's hormones (Cat I was up til about then with a 1:30pm birth!!)

    I went in wanting a natural waterbirth, and my 2 birth support partners (dh and midwife student/mate) knowing I wanted a natural waterbirth. I always said I wouldn't be too proud and stubborn and if my partners could see that I wasn't coping then I knew I could trust them to advise me to have something to help me cope.
    I totally wasn't prepared for, and didn't count on, those labour hormones kicking in. The put me into a 'zone' where I was totally focussed, gave me energy, and though it hurt, I could handle it with the encouragement and support of my partners.
    So i got my drug free waterbirth!

    Besides, what did all those women do before drugs were available? The human race has been alive and kicking for slightly more than 50 years
    You can do it. My advice would be to have a birth partner/s who believe the same thing.

    All the best, and congrats on your pregnancy! Sept's a great time to have a baby

  10. #28
    paradise lost Guest

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    Hi Noni e,

    I well-remember the negative naysayers of my pregnancy! We homebirthed and faced everything from "you don't know what you're letting yourself in for" to "people like you are sick, you shouldn't be allowed to have babies, they should MAKE you go to hospital" and, my personal favourite, "well, if being new age matters so much to you that you're willing to kill your baby then....". Nice. Needless to say, they got short shrift from me!

    I had gas and air right at the end, my labour went from not-much-action to birth in about 2 hours, which was a bit rocky, but still totally doable.

    If you believe you can do it, you can do it. Aye, labour hurts, but it's like a wobbly milk-tooth, you kind of like it, you know? Or at least, you know you're not being injured.

    I only felt i could cope with one more contraction at the end, and that was a great way, for me, of dealing with it. Everytime i felt one come on i'd tell myself "just one more". You only ever have to do one at a time anyway.

    Read up so you know all about the stages of labour. Read others birth stories - anything by Ina May Gaskin is great. It's a bit hippyish, but the birth stories are beautiful and show just how incredibly possible it is to give birth without painrelief.

    Your body will not labour faster than you can deal with, have faith. Believe in your arse as my midwife friend would say. Your pelvis knows what it's doing and i am living proof that even if you don't PUSH your baby gets born.

    I'm not going to wish you luck with birth because you don't need it. You and i know you can do that no worries, but good good luck with putting up with others attitudes. It's not for too long. I actually CHERISH my pregnancy, despite it being littered with rubbish comments...

    A word of warning though. I have found that my birth story is not enjoyed by most older/non-pregnant folks. They want to hear about agony and pain and struggle and torment and a good horror story to pass on to unsuspecting pregnant girls. Me saying "yeah, it was great, really lovely" has them glazing over faster than you can say "epidural".

    Hana

  11. #29

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    No I can honestly say I didnt' like it in any kind of way!!!!!!!! hee hee.
    I had epidural with no 1 because I wanted it, and not with no 2 because she was SO quick. If it had gone on any longer (labour was 1 hour 54) I wouldve been screaming for one.
    I say go in with an open mind and be prepared for anything, but plan for a best case scenario. xoxo

  12. #30

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    Noni, echoing everyone else's words...it can SO be done! This time last year I was 6 months pregnant and had paid for my HypnoBirthing course. I copped all the comments about "yeah, pain-free, good luck', 'take the drugs' and all the horror stories that go with these types of comments. I really did try to avoid these situations, but some women come at you with them, regardless. You just need to fortify yourself against these women and let their words run right over you.
    I can relate to my birth story being as boring as bat ***** for most women. They ask and I say it was truly lovely and they look like they dont' believe me. In fact, a good friend of mine still thinks I'm fibbing when I say that there was no screaming whatsoever...not even swearing (and I'm a well-renowned potty mouth!).
    The other thought I have is that when you answer that you want to go drug-free, other women feel you are criticising them for their own choices. That's for them to deal with. You want to do it a certain way, so stick to it, research it and empower yourself, cos there are too many people who are ready to tell you what you can't do.
    Also, please, please, please, do not buy into the thought-process of "but they've given birth before, they must know better than I"...because in most instances, unfortunately, these women didn't empower themselves for their own birth experiences and a bit of jealousy can lead to attempted disempowerment!
    I was surrounded by women in my social circle, who had given birth before. Most were critical of me and thought I was naive and that it was their responsibility to set me straight. They were meekly surprised at my success and then they moved on to being negative about how I wouldn't get any sleep, all I would do is wash cloth nappies (cos we decided to go cloth) etc. Wrong again. We co-sleep, so I get great sleep! Cloth nappies are fun and take next to no time. But I digress. Just because you are a first-timer, it doesn't mean your body is any less able to do what women have been doing for time immemorial.
    I believe that the key is to visualise the kind of birth YOU WANT. Visualise serenity and you will be that much closer to achieving it. I joked that Oscar's birth would be 'zen', but then I would go off and actually place myself in a birthing pool, being all zen...and that's how it was, I kid you not!
    Work on eliminating the fear, and look forward to the birth itself - embrace it for what it provides and what it will teach you about yourself. That's a bit hippie, I know - but now I'm pulling rank...I've been there, done that
    You CAN do it, chickadee We are all real life women here who can tell you that it IS possible, it's not martyrdom (ironically, unlike many women's horror stories!), and it is beautiful like nothing else. No matter what happens, it's what you make of it

  13. #31

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    Hehe, I was in the opposite boat to you...I WANTED every drug available...but we didn't get to hospital till I was fully dialated and apparently we didn't 'have time' to have any drugs... I survived and it was painful but we all managed to get through it. There are heaps of women that don't have any drugs...just let people say what they want but only listen to the stuff you want to.

    (that said, I don't know if I'd go through it again without drugs if I had the choice...hehe)

  14. #32

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    Nonie - just wanted to share with you that I had a 6 hour labour with no gas or drugs or pain relief of any kind and I birthed Hester with out any problems at all. She was 9lb4oz and her head was 36.4cm. (not exactly petite). I had her in a private hospital and the first midwife was fairly pushy with me about what pain relief I would be having but my doula and I managed to get her to back off a bit by being very polite and telling her I would ask for it later if I needed it.

    The pain was probably the most intense pain I'd felt but if I gave labour a score of 10, then I've certainly had several occasions where I've had pain at level 9. The best thing about labour pain is that you know it will go away and you know that you are having pain for a really good reason.

    Every woman is different and it's not possible to tell how anyone will go - but you are doing the right thing by keeping an open mind and trusting your body can do this will set you up incredibly powerfully for when the time comes. best wishes
    kar

  15. #33
    melissa.r Guest

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    Just remember that the way in which we deal with labour pain is not necessarily connected to how high our pain threshhold is, but more to do with our attitude to pain... when we are afraid of the pain then it is more difficult to deal with, if we embrace our pain and not find ways to take it away then we are more likely to be able to manage it. OBs and midwives practicing in hospitals are not always skilled in non medical means of pain management, so their only options are drugs. Therefore when we listen to many womens stories they tell us about terrible pain that only drugs could manage. This in turn influences our own images of pain and sets up negative views of labour.

  16. #34

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    hiya noni - I was more afraid of having to have an epidural than i was of actually giving birth!!! I made it through with gas and a shot of pethidine, and i was induced both times. (have heard that it's meant to increase the pain??). Hopefully i won't need to be induced this time around - who knows - maybe i'll make it through without anything!!

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