I don't think it was silly at all. I think it's all the way people *think* of the pain of labour and birth. I was petrified of having a c/s, and thankfully I didn't have to. I was in pre labour with DS for almost 2wks, and gave birth in an hour. The pain of birth does not bother me. The pain of labour is more 'hurty' and annoying for me than actually giving birth. I was in labour for almost 24hrs with DD. I was threatened with a c/s and pushed like hell to get her out to prevent it. Luckliy it worked. To me the pain of a c/s would have been 100 times worse than the pain of labour and birth. BUt again that's just what I think. Maybe for those women, the thought of labour and birth is worse than the thought of a c/s. And for you and I, the thought of labour and birth isn't as bad as the thought of a c/s. Everyone is different.
New Active Birth is a great book too - it really helps you to know how to manage your birth to stop it slowing down and to best cope with the pain.
There are many different reasons why women choose c/s over vb, and choose pain relief during labour. Some of these are for very good reasons. But there are too many times when women who could have had a pain relief free vb don't - mostly due to fear (and with all the horror stories people tell, no wonder!) and also due to lack of information about how to position yourself to help the labour and breathe through the contractions. I wish I had known what I know now before I went into labour for the first time!
The wierd thing for me is I am the opposite, I almsot pass out at the thought of a c-sect & it's my greatest fear. But I can't go to the dentist either LOL!
I agree each to their own in choices, you can choose a c-sect or not........you are given the choice & yes if you have your reasons you have them. I will agree to that.
But as they say you shouldn't comment til you've had bubs you might think differently. Well perhaps they shouldn't comment until they've pushed bubs out IYKWIM. I get annoyed when people say "oh glad I had a c-sect...couldn't have pushed that out"...well you don't know that you couldn't & it's very different to how you birthed so perhaps keep that one to yourself.
Nothing stupid about what you said! And I"m not trying to be rude about those who have had or chose a c-sect. I just think you can only comment on what you have experienced yourself. I actually think what your friends said make them sound a little like twats.
What you said was not dumb at all and i think you should be able to say what you believe.
Even though DD's birth was not what i expected and was far from PAIN FREE i did what needed to be done i have my beautiful girl for it, as you said the pain is a productive pain... if everything in life was easy we would all be millionaires, if we never went though pain we would never learn a lesson.
I am so grateful that DD didn't want to wait for me to get to hosp as i would not have been given any choice about a c/s, i am soooo glad i avoided it even through a risky situation.
Stand up for what you believe in and don't let anyone make you feel stupid over it!
i could honestly see a c/s as more painful than a vaginal birth. i mean how long does it take a c/s incision to heal compared to a couple of stitches if you tear?
My mate had an 11 pound boy with no stitches or drugs, it's all about your state of mind and the breathing.
it's okay to state your mind and it wasn't stupid at all, was just your theory
But when you come down to it, it is a matter of the individual's choice.
You're right that it's a productive pain... in the sense that you know why it's happening, but that doesn't stop it hurting, and it doesn't stop you thinking "WHY WON'T IT END NOW?!!"
The thing is, even if you have all your facts right, unfortunately people won't consider your opinion to be worth as much because you haven't been there. It is a kind of unique experience, but if you're educated about what happens I think you can still have a lot of good ideas about what to expect and what you want to do. Personally I was surprised in my first labour because it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then I was surprised in my second labour because it was WORSE than I thought it would be LOL
Also, I agree with previous replies... both my babes were over 7 pounds - and I'm fairly small, but no issues there, and for me, a VB was way more ideal than a c/s.
ROFL Lulu - ever watch the show 'Becker', with Ted Danson? He referred to someone as a chicken spanker coz they wanted to try alternative medicine - I think its got something to do with witch doctors, KWIM?
C/s are painful, theres no doubt about it. I hear stories of women that say they had no pain at all, and I wonder if I'm just a wuss or it was because they wanted the op so it made it emotionally easier. With my c/s births I was home 2 days after, doing house work, so I think I have a good pain threshold. But I was still really sore. Even a month to 6 weeks after it hurt to get out of bed.
Not in any way to minimise the pain of a natural birth or trauma that women may have received, but I would choose 12 hours of terrible pain over 2 months of moderate to high pain. That's just me though.
Attitude and information are what make or break a person when it comes to birthing.
You have a fantastic attitude and if you continue to make informed choices you will not have any regrets.
What you said was brilliant!
I loved giving birth - yes it's intense but i loved it!!!!!!!!And so worth it.
[QUOTE=Dedicated Doula Gillian;1977950]Attitude and information are what make or break a person when it comes to birthing.
/QUOTE]
Honestly and truly, I don't think it is. I think it's most definitely helpful but it's not make or break. There are lots of women on here who had done their research and had the most positive frame of mind who went on to have labours that they didn't envisage. To say that it's just about attitude or information is extremely dismissive and condescending to women who have had difficult births and implies that if they'd had a better attitude or spent more time looking up information they would have had a better birth.
Like I said, there is absolutely no doubt that a positive attitude is extremely helpful but sometimes even the most positive attitude will not guarantee an intervention-free birth. Tell me how a positive attitude helps in a three day labour with a posterior baby. It may help for the first day, even the second day, but c'mon the third day is a bit bloody tricky.
Well.......dont know whether I should say anything as Ive had two small bubs, but honestly I agree with you (based on my 2 experiences) and I was s**t scared of having a c/s.
It's the kind of pain that you know is not going to go on forever, that each contraction is making it closer to the time you get to meet your little one.
For me, there was nothing better than believing in my ability and my body and knowing that I could do it. Seriously it made me feel like I'd become a woman after giving birth, not a girl anymore. I dont think that people who have c/s are any less of a woman but this is the way I felt and feel.
Good luck with your birth experience and hope it works out the way you want it to.
I have a fairly different view on things than my family - they call me a 'tree hugging chicken spanker' -so I don't usually say much about my choices or opinions. I shouldn't have let myself be pulled in to the debate I ended up saying that they'd HAFTA believe me when I finally have a baby, coz I'd definitely be doing it completely drug free and at home if possible So hopefully it won't be thrown back in my face one day...
TD - thanks for sharing your story I didn't mean to make anyone think that they had to justify wanting a CS, it was more about being blown off. Thanks for being gentle
I don't think what you said was stupid at all! I remember when I was preg with #1 my family said similar things to me about how I'd be screaming for an epidural before long. I also did a lot of research and found understanding what hurts and why in labour helped me to visualise the process and I can honestly say that labour was not that horrible! exhausting yes but not as painful as being cut open! It is a productive pain, a cramping, working muscle pain.
Funny thing is after hearing me natter on about all my pregnancy, birth and baby stuff and being teased constantly about my choices to birth without an epidural, breastfeed until 2, use cloth and baby wear when my SIL had her third she decided to give it a go. She had her third without an epidural, and went on to breastfeed 1yr and still going! She noticed a big difference in recovery time over having and epi and a big difference in breastfeeding success. she even gave cloth nappies and baby wearing a go! So keep up your research and stick to your plans you never know how your choices and research will help someone else!
I hope when your time comes you have the birthing experience you wish for.I am more scared of anaesthetic than labour,I think that has to do with my control issues though.Everybody is different though and it's the end result what's important-healthy bub and mum.
I had 2 10lb babies.
First was induced, very painful labour, had gas, 2 hours of pushing.
Second, wasnt sure if it was proper labour until I was almost at transition, 5 minutes of pushing, still very apinfula nd me telling mw i didnt want to do it anymore.
I agree with you, I think it is productive pain, but not everyone sees it that way.
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-so I don't usually say much about my choices or opinions. I shouldn't have let myself be pulled in to the debate 
I ended up saying that they'd HAFTA believe me when I finally have a baby, coz I'd definitely be doing it completely drug free and at home if possible 
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