Is what I said stupid?

[Lulu]

I really want to know what the chicken spanking thing is...

[bon]

[~Saram~]

I don't think what you said was stupid at all! I remember when I was preg with #1 my family said similar things to me about how I'd be screaming for an epidural before long. I also did a lot of research and found understanding what hurts and why in labour helped me to visualise the process and I can honestly say that labour was not that horrible! exhausting yes but not as painful as being cut open! It is a productive pain, a cramping, working muscle pain.

Funny thing is after hearing me natter on about all my pregnancy, birth and baby stuff and being teased constantly about my choices to birth without an epidural, breastfeed until 2, use cloth and baby wear when my SIL had her third she decided to give it a go. She had her third without an epidural, and went on to breastfeed 1yr and still going! She noticed a big difference in recovery time over having and epi and a big difference in breastfeeding success. she even gave cloth nappies and baby wearing a go! So keep up your research and stick to your plans you never know how your choices and research will help someone else!

[Matthew's Mum]

I hope when your time comes you have the birthing experience you wish for.I am more scared of anaesthetic than labour,I think that has to do with my control issues though.Everybody is different though and it's the end result what's important-healthy bub and mum.

[CrazyLady]

i could honestly see a c/s as more painful than a vaginal birth. i mean how long does it take a c/s incision to heal compared to a couple of stitches if you tear?

My mate had an 11 pound boy with no stitches or drugs, it's all about your state of mind and the breathing.

it's okay to state your mind and it wasn't stupid at all, was just your theory

But when you come down to it, it is a matter of the individual's choice.

[sas85]

No what they said is dumb. It is true that it is not possible to really grasp the ridiculous pain of labour until you are in it - but personally I think it is very sad to go for something with more risk to avoid labour pain.

Having said that, having had a very intense labour and having had such painful 2nd degree tears that took 5 months to stop hurting like all hell - I was envious of the women in my room who had had caesar's because I couldn't walk either as I was so swollen down there and had a catheter in for a couple of days and after the first day of post-abdominal surgery they were all in better shape than me BUT I still wouldn't choose surgery over a vb unless it was medically advisable. 8 lbs isn't that big anyway - plus weight doesn't matter so much as the size of the head anyway - they sound very ignorant. Just because you haven't had a baby yet doesn't mean you don't know your stuff.

[Lulu]

Chicken spanker????

[sasha]

You're right that it's a productive pain... in the sense that you know why it's happening, but that doesn't stop it hurting, and it doesn't stop you thinking "WHY WON'T IT END NOW?!!"

The thing is, even if you have all your facts right, unfortunately people won't consider your opinion to be worth as much because you haven't been there. It is a kind of unique experience, but if you're educated about what happens I think you can still have a lot of good ideas about what to expect and what you want to do. Personally I was surprised in my first labour because it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then I was surprised in my second labour because it was WORSE than I thought it would be LOL

Also, I agree with previous replies... both my babes were over 7 pounds - and I'm fairly small, but no issues there, and for me, a VB was way more ideal than a c/s.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

ROFL Lulu - ever watch the show 'Becker', with Ted Danson? He referred to someone as a chicken spanker coz they wanted to try alternative medicine - I think its got something to do with witch doctors, KWIM?

You make me giggle

[Lulu]

Ha ha ha !

When I was studying Natural Therapies people would ask if I used to chant and bang fish together over people... remember that ad?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

YES!!! Lol

[Smoke Jaguar]

Ooooh, I so resent that smugness of "I've done it and you're kidding yourself - it can only happen the way it happened to me" response! I had it through my first pg and people telling me to 'take the drugs' when I specifically said I wasn't going to and that I was doing HypnoBirthing. The response to that was an ignorant laugh and 'good luck'...but not in a way that suggested they were actually wishing me luck
Afterwards, the one who kept telling me to take the drugs etc called and asked if everything went to plan. I happily told her it did and she said her and the others were worried that it wouldn't. I don't think they were worried as wondering how much egg would end up on my face. Since then I don't get so many people telling me I'm dreaming
Yeah, anything can happen in any given situation - and if you plan for something and prepare yourself you're that much more likely to achieve it.
I don't understand why other women can't just say "it's actually great that you're positive about it; even if it doesn't go to plan, that positivity will serve you well with the outcome"...how come that's so hard to come up with as a response? I'll tell ya why - cos it's the thoughtful, compassionate and empowering way to respond and we have such a deficiency of these three things in our society
Funny how this time no-one's telling me "yeah, good luck with that drug-free business"...they know that I know it's not a pipe dream, it's a follow up performance!
Again, anything could happen. I'm prepared for that. I'm just not scared of the process and that makes a huge difference.
Chicken spanker...well, now I'm prepared for that accusation should it ever arise!! (surprised it hasn't already...)

[HollyC]

I think everything I read about labour, birth and looking after babies took on a whole new meaning after I had done it first hand. So.... yeah... it can be easy to laugh at those who haven't experienced it. Not that it's a nice thing to do. There does also seem to be a very negative tendency for mothers to try and scare pregnant women. I'm not sure what that is about. I have experienced it first hand and I have vowed not to do it myself.

I am pretty amazed at all the ideas women have about c/s. Both from those who have and haven't experienced it. I have received some pretty harsh comments from my sister. She had a vaginal birth and I had an emergency c/s.

Then again birthing babies in general can be a very controversial topic. I try not to buy into it all. Birth has been no where near as challenging as motherhood.....

[~*lilla*~]

C/s are painful, theres no doubt about it. I hear stories of women that say they had no pain at all, and I wonder if I'm just a wuss or it was because they wanted the op so it made it emotionally easier. With my c/s births I was home 2 days after, doing house work, so I think I have a good pain threshold. But I was still really sore. Even a month to 6 weeks after it hurt to get out of bed.

Not in any way to minimise the pain of a natural birth or trauma that women may have received, but I would choose 12 hours of terrible pain over 2 months of moderate to high pain. That's just me though.

[Ozziehoffy]

C-sections hurt waaaay more than labour. Plenty of women labour without pain-relief but nobody in their right mind would contemplate a c-section without anesthetic.

:yeahthat:

Absolutely!! Had both and personally I'd NEVER choose a c/s if given a choice!! - unless of course if there was a good medical reason.

[Fleur]

No what you said wasn't stupid just because your opinion isn't based on experience yet doesn't mean it's not valid and of course after you have been there doen that, people's opinions still differ.
I think it was pretty rude of them to write off what you had to say but then that's family I guess, mine can be the same sometimes

Personally I'd take the VB anyday I had my VBAC in July, she was 10lb8, I had a 2nd degree tear which healed in a matter of days & it was waaaaay easier recovery-wise than my CS.
I know there are women who tear & it takes longer to heal, and there are women who have CS & find their recovery time quite ok.

As for it being a productive pain, absolutely!
I'd rather give birth than go to the dentist

[Jac]

On the flip side, I had my MIL & SIL go on and on about how it's so natural to give birth and women do it all the time ect, ect. and the day my first child was born they came to visit saying "see, it's not that bad is it??" and I nearly burst into tears as I was traumatised by it! Time most definatley must muddle the brain as to how painful it is (was) - either that or I'm a wuss. I had no drugs/pain relief with either of my births, but I can totally understand why people would be scared and want c/s's to be honest. Also, a friend of mine has had both type of births and had more medical complications after her VBAC, including severe incontinence (bladder and bowel). So, each to their own with regard to choice and just becaue someone chooses/wants a c/s doesn't necessarily mean they are uninformed. I'm glad you didn't say anything to the ladies you overheard, but your mum/sis did sound a little patrionising towards you.
Good luck to you and I think, with your attitude, you will have a terrific birthing experience.

[chickenlittle]

After learning about chicken spanking and fish banging, reading this entire thread has been the best thing I've done all day. Hilarious!!!!!!!!

Actually Sunflowa I think what you said is a very logical way of looking at it, it is indeed productive, and if you're going into it thinking that way then you're already on your way to having a really positive birthing experience.

I had a 9 1/2 pound baby and pushed her out with not much trouble. Of course an epidural helped! And then I had a 7 pound baby who virtually sailed out and landed across the room in the armchair. Almost.

Everyone is different, I was very lucky to have positive experiences, may the lord of chicken spankers make my third one great also.

Best of luck to you and everyone else here with whatever choices or situations your births bring you into. It's all good so long as you're doing the right thing in your own mind.