light touch can be irritating
I found this. Andrew was trying to be gentle & soothing with his back massage (my labour with Olivia was all back pain) and I wanted to scream at him to put a bit of muscle into it!!!

(I spent a lot of time in the shower with huge water pressure jet shower directed right at the small of my back and hips)

In term of what to say, direct is good, chat is not. I wanted to tell Andrew to shut the **** up most of the time, unless he was telling me what a legend I was, LOL!