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Thread: What to say to a labouring woman...

  1. #1
    *Yvette* Guest

    Default What to say to a labouring woman...

    My suggestions would be:

    Speak to her between every contraction.

    Don't speak un-necessarily or ask her questions if you can help it during contractions.

    Avoid questions anyway that are too open - rather give a choice "juice or water?", "move to bathroom or chair?", choice of 2 CDs.

    Tell her who is in the room & what they're doing.

    Tell her the time.

    Tell her the weather outside.

    Tell her what's been observed, eg baby's heartbeat, her BP if it's being watched, dilation if known, leaking fluids.... a labouring woman can become very introverted & may have her eyes closed a lot - but still want to be in touch with what's going on.

    Tell her what's been observed about her behaviour. For example, how are her noises sounding, have they changed?



    Talk to her about using her sounds to help open her cervix, oooooooo sounds to open the cervix and oh sounds to build energy when she's getting tired.

    Encourage encourage encourage. Tell her she's doing well, her sounds are good, she's in a good position, baby's heartbeat is good. Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her you can see her strength. Tell her you're proud of her. Tell her you love her. Tell her she's progressed. Tell her she's getting close, she's nearly there. Tell her she can do this. Tell her she is doing it. Say all these things with truth and at the right time, and only if they are absolutely true.

    Tell her she's safe.

    What thoughts/suggestions do you have?

  2. #2
    *Yvette* Guest

    Default

    bump.

  3. #3

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    Watch her body language.

    * Is she rubbing her back? Give her a massage.
    * Does she look uncomfortable? Try helping her get comfortable.
    * Are her lips dry or is she licking her lips? Give her a drink or ice chips
    * Is she sitting in a position where her toes are down and ankles off the ground? Place some pillows under her feet so she doesn't get cramp.
    * Does she look frightened? Reassure her that everything is okay
    * Is she tense? Run your hand down her shoulders or jaw and tell her to relax
    * Is she taking shallow breaths or holding her breath? Remind her to take deep breaths and that her baby needs the oxygen
    * Is she looking around the room and restless? Give her something to focus concentrate on, her partners eyes are a great one and they can breath through contractions together

    I could go on forever LOL...
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
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  4. #4

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    Default Re: What to say to a labouring woman...

    Quote Originally Posted by *Yvette*
    Avoid questions anyway that are too open - rather give a choice "juice or water?", "move to bathroom or chair?", choice of 2 CDs.
    That is perfect. Will be telling my DH that one. If there's one thing I can't do.. it's make decisions.. i was like that in the first tri.. which is one main reason I was so miserable, having to decide what to eat etc. We've learnt our lesson on that front.. don't ask me to make decisions on what I want! I'm a multiple choice kinda person

    In fact... I might even put that in my birth plan! since I'm struggling for things to put in it.. offer me choices.. don't just ask what I need.

    Excellent.. keep this topic going

  5. #5
    skyelar Guest

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    I agree will be printing this one out for sure. Thanks Yvette!

    My midwife told me to visualise my body moving my baby down, I found this really helped during transition when I was loosing focus.

  6. #6
    bruky Guest

    Default Re: What to say to a labouring woman...

    Quote Originally Posted by *Yvette*

    Don't speak un-necessarily or ask her questions if you can help it during contractions.
    I could have killed my DH with his bloody questions...like on the way to the hospital and he is asking me when was Valentines Day during a contraction :fuming:

    Like is it not obvious I am having one....lol I had her about 30 minutes after I got there so I was in full labour....lol

    The best thing anyone could tell me during contractions was to breathe and slowly at that....honestly it helped me so much as I was getting all panicky...my midwife got my attention and breathed with me and I felt less scared


  7. #7

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    Dont talk - just rub. And dont ever stop, even when I stop groaning, just keep going. Thats it from me

    Spot the girl who had a back labour...... 8-[

    One of the best things I remember was having a laugh during the whole thing. Several times Shane and I had a shared joke, and a giggle. Trying not to take each other, or the whole situation too seriously was a plus for me. As long as noone was laughing at me of course - then there was no sense of humour!!

  8. #8

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    Some women with lower back pain actually find firm pressure (with heatpack good too) just as good or even better - because sometime light touch can be irritating or the area can be sore.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  9. #9

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    light touch can be irritating
    I found this. Andrew was trying to be gentle & soothing with his back massage (my labour with Olivia was all back pain) and I wanted to scream at him to put a bit of muscle into it!!!

    (I spent a lot of time in the shower with huge water pressure jet shower directed right at the small of my back and hips)

    In term of what to say, direct is good, chat is not. I wanted to tell Andrew to shut the **** up most of the time, unless he was telling me what a legend I was, LOL!

  10. #10

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    When I say rub dont talk - I mean that the bruise from the rubbing was larger than the bruise from the epidural. It couldn't have been hard enough. RUB RUB RUB!!!!!!

    And like Lucy - I was labouring in the shower for about an hour with the hot water on my back - just in the right place.

    I dont think a man could go wrong from hard massage. A bit like the saying - no man ever got shot by his wife while washing the dishes......

  11. #11

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    Ahh the back pain labour! Massage and the shower really helped. I have no idea how long i was in there for, but if bubs had not gotten stuck, that's where she was going to be born.

    I second the asking question thing. DH was asking where things were in the labour bag and I ended up yelling at him. I just couldn't cope with explanations.

  12. #12

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    Lovin' this thread girls!!! A copy is going in my labour bag for sure!!!! =D>

  13. #13

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    :-k I think encouragement & gentle talking was good for both my labours....

    Also allowing me to not know what I wanted but not suggestying things like I was annoying for not knowing what i wanted!!!

    Also a maternity pad full of hot water pressed against me when head was crowning, took away chinese burn sensation!

    Also dont ask me what i want or need etc when I am pushing!

    But encourage me!

    I also had fuinny jokes between contraction with Dh & Mum during 2nd stage...

    When things are a tad worrisome or something is happening (Indah had swallowed meconium & they couldnt suction her so she wasnt breathing) do not let me see anyone worried!!

    DH & Mum both smiled at me & midwives kept encouraging me, wsnt til later I found out...

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