Are you more or less nervous the 2nd + time around?
HI everyone.
I am interested in hearing your thoughts on how you felt about actual labour the 2nd (3rd 4th and so on) time around.
I am pg with #2 and for some reason I am alot more anxious and nervous about the whole labour thing. I bounce between excitement and dread IYKWIM. Don't get me wrong...I am not talking about the actual baby (the baby is very much wanted) its the whole 'pushing out, contractions, pain' part that gets the heart-a-thumping
FWIW, My first labour was induced, 4 hours in total with no pain relief. There was no trauma, I didn't need stitches and things went well so I am at a loss to identify where this anxiety is coming from. I'm assuming it's normal to feel this way?
Interested in hearing your thoughts
i guess with all of mine it was more nerve racking the more times i had to labor lol.
i think its the fact of knowing whats to come is what sets your heart into over drive..
the only labour i was happy with and never anxious was my 3rd pregnancy, no idea why but was over the moon about it... and probably the less painfull out of all...
the second time round I felt stronger, more confident within myself and my abilities. I had the nerves of knowing what was going to happen, but the 2nd time round I decided to use those nerves to empower myself when it came to labour.
The 1st time I never felt like I was in control, I never felt like I was treated or respected properly. The second time round I made sure that I was assertive about everything. I even prepped DH on what my wishes were in the event of certains things happening (like emergency c-section, etc).
Second time round I really discovered exactly how strong and capable I am in my world.
DD2's birth was absolutely fantastic, I prepped myself for the whole pregnancy. Apoligies if I sound too estatic about her birth but I couldnt have asked for anything more.
Might just add, that the way I felt about the second time round was mainly due to BB.. Reading copious amounts of threads and researching made all the difference!
Last edited by beansbeans!; May 28th, 2011 at 08:37 PM.
2nd time around I was way more scared than the first time, coz I knew just how hard it was going to be! But I used what I knew & handled it way better. It was definetely my best of all 4 labours in the way I dealt with it.
#3 & #4 didn't worry me at all. Hardly thought about it.
I felt petrified the second time around!! I think it was worse because I knew what to expect!!! But you know what? My experiences have gotten better with each birth. I am sure yours will too.
I was nervous the second time because I never really experienced labour the first time! I was induced but had an epidural before the first contraction so never felt the contractions. I was nervous because I had no idea what early labour felt like and was worried I wouldn't know I was in labour. As it turned out I was induced for my second but I got to labour wit out pain relief that time. I feel now that I could cope with a third labour, DP feels different on that though.
I'm a bit more apprehensive this time, but I think it comes from knowing a bit more about what to expect. I too was induced first time around at 38 weeks, in labour for 4 and 3/4 hours but did have pain relief (gas, pethideine and epi) but no tears. I had no idea what happened when giving birth, not having even watched a birth video previously...
That said, there's also a good bit of anticipation as well - after all, I've done it before, so have confidence my body can do it again.
I was actually looking forward to birth the 2nd and 3rd times. Particularly the 3rd. With DD, I was induced and had a very long and painful labour which was a bit traumatic for both of us. When I went into pabour with DS1, I knew from DD's birth how strong I was. I knew I could do it, put up with alot and get through it by myself. And I did. When in labour with DS2, again I knew I was strong, empowered and powerful and I could and would do it.
After I gave birth with #1 the Ob thought I was hemorrhaging and (I don't know the name of the procedure) the ob reached into my uterus and maybe pulled the placenta out or was 'fishing' around for something. Anyway this experience was BY FAR the worst out of the whole thing. In hindsight I don't actually know why she did this to me but now that I think about it I remember that they placed DD on me just as the ob did this and I was yelling out to take DD off me because I was in agony and thought I might drop her. I was beggin my husband to take DD because I thought she was going to get hurt...hmmm... I forgot about all that till now.
From one aspect I feel stronger but on the other I feel like soo much more could go wrong. I'm worrying about things that I didnt even think about during my first pregnancy.
It reassures me though that some of you have had similar feelings
delphmoon, I had the same experience as you, twice over. I have haemmoraged with all of my births (angels included) and with DD's birth adn DS2's births, I had the same thing done. It is excruciating, but they do it to try to get out what is causing you to haemmorage and to try to prevent you from having to go to theatre, which would mean general anaesthetic and a D&C to stop your bleeding. I didn't remember I had it done when I had DD until the doctor did it to me with DS2. It is amazingly painful and looking back I have no idea how I got through it. I had my doula with me the second time and she was in tears too. But to me, that is seperate to my births. I have seperated my births from the afters (the haemmoraging ect) because if I put them together I would have never done it again!
I was terrified, I kept having nightmares and visions of things going horribly wrong again. I got to the point where I needed to be medicated to be able to cope.
I hated pregnancy and DS1's birth has left me battling with PTSD and depression. The actual labour and pain associated with it didn't bother me at all, it was everything else that happened... DS1 required a full resuscitation and was very very sick (born with an infection @ 30 weeks). DS2 required ventilation because he stopped breathing (34 weeks). I haemorrhaged after all of my 'births' (2 live births, a late m/c and an early m/c). My babies were taken away from me, DS1 wasn't even put on my chest or anything I got to touch his hand quickly before they took him to the NICU, DS2 was placed on my chest but only for about 10 secs as he struggled (I freaked out because I knew something was wrong and didn't want a repeat of DS1's events).
The Dr was very supportive when I wanted my tubes tied at 24. I just can't do pregnancy well.
Uhm. Crapping my pants to say the least!!
DS labour was a pain relief free 4hr induction (same as you delphmoon!) with no tearing and the small graze I got was healed within two weeks... I can't see how I can be that lucky twice!
i have had 4 babies and get more and more excited with each one after my first i always said i wouldnt have anymore as i was traumatised i only had pethidine then with my 2nd i didnt have time to think i was in hosp and had him at 30wks woke up had him 25mins later with my 3rd i was extremely excited to be having my DD so when i went in i was more excited then i was proud when she was 8lb 4 and had done so well then with my 4th having had such a aawesome experience with my 3rd was excited again got to hosp for check up and was already 5cm i got really excited 4hrs later had my lil man he was 9lb 4 and i had no drugs i was so proud of myself and i have never had stitches with any of them.
This is something that was making me really anxious during the earlier stages of my pregnancy. With DD I had a straight forward birth with a small tear and was 4 hrs from the 1st contraction. No trauma whatsoever and had a very calm birth. I was quite young and had no idea what sort of pain I was in for. The worst thing for me was the back pain during birth.
This time around I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the pain. I KNOW how painful it is going to be, however there is pain relief available if I want it, and it will all be over within hours and we will get to meet our beautiful girl
This time I am hoping I have a simple 'Easy' labour like I did with DD, but I dont know if I am going to be that lucky I am trying to find ways to deal with the contractions without using the gas this time around
I've done it before - and can do it again Just like you. Perhaps its just the stage your at in the pregnancy? I am trying to be calm and positive about it. Fingers crossed all goes well like the first birth
Are you more or less nervous the 2nd + time around?
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