I was terrified, I kept having nightmares and visions of things going horribly wrong again. I got to the point where I needed to be medicated to be able to cope.
I hated pregnancy and DS1's birth has left me battling with PTSD and depression. The actual labour and pain associated with it didn't bother me at all, it was everything else that happened... DS1 required a full resuscitation and was very very sick (born with an infection @ 30 weeks). DS2 required ventilation because he stopped breathing (34 weeks). I haemorrhaged after all of my 'births' (2 live births, a late m/c and an early m/c). My babies were taken away from me, DS1 wasn't even put on my chest or anything I got to touch his hand quickly before they took him to the NICU, DS2 was placed on my chest but only for about 10 secs as he struggled (I freaked out because I knew something was wrong and didn't want a repeat of DS1's events).

The Dr was very supportive when I wanted my tubes tied at 24. I just can't do pregnancy well.