Are you more or less nervous the 2nd + time around?

[delphmoon]

HI everyone.

I am interested in hearing your thoughts on how you felt about actual labour the 2nd (3rd 4th and so on) time around.

I am pg with #2 and for some reason I am alot more anxious and nervous about the whole labour thing. I bounce between excitement and dread IYKWIM. Don't get me wrong...I am not talking about the actual baby (the baby is very much wanted) its the whole 'pushing out, contractions, pain' part that gets the heart-a-thumping

FWIW, My first labour was induced, 4 hours in total with no pain relief. There was no trauma, I didn't need stitches and things went well so I am at a loss to identify where this anxiety is coming from. I'm assuming it's normal to feel this way?
Interested in hearing your thoughts

TIA

[*Sparklez*]

i guess with all of mine it was more nerve racking the more times i had to labor lol.
i think its the fact of knowing whats to come is what sets your heart into over drive..
the only labour i was happy with and never anxious was my 3rd pregnancy, no idea why but was over the moon about it... and probably the less painfull out of all...

[misty]

I felt petrified the second time around!! I think it was worse because I knew what to expect!!! But you know what? My experiences have gotten better with each birth. I am sure yours will too.

[Little Chicken]

I was nervous the second time because I never really experienced labour the first time! I was induced but had an epidural before the first contraction so never felt the contractions. I was nervous because I had no idea what early labour felt like and was worried I wouldn't know I was in labour. As it turned out I was induced for my second but I got to labour wit out pain relief that time. I feel now that I could cope with a third labour, DP feels different on that though.

[beansbeans!]

the second time round I felt stronger, more confident within myself and my abilities. I had the nerves of knowing what was going to happen, but the 2nd time round I decided to use those nerves to empower myself when it came to labour.
The 1st time I never felt like I was in control, I never felt like I was treated or respected properly. The second time round I made sure that I was assertive about everything. I even prepped DH on what my wishes were in the event of certains things happening (like emergency c-section, etc).
Second time round I really discovered exactly how strong and capable I am in my world.

DD2's birth was absolutely fantastic, I prepped myself for the whole pregnancy. Apoligies if I sound too estatic about her birth but I couldnt have asked for anything more.

Might just add, that the way I felt about the second time round was mainly due to BB.. Reading copious amounts of threads and researching made all the difference!

[Cranky Kitten]

I'm a bit more apprehensive this time, but I think it comes from knowing a bit more about what to expect. I too was induced first time around at 38 weeks, in labour for 4 and 3/4 hours but did have pain relief (gas, pethideine and epi) but no tears. I had no idea what happened when giving birth, not having even watched a birth video previously...

That said, there's also a good bit of anticipation as well - after all, I've done it before, so have confidence my body can do it again.

[MrsFabuloso]

I was actually looking forward to birth the 2nd and 3rd times. Particularly the 3rd. With DD, I was induced and had a very long and painful labour which was a bit traumatic for both of us. When I went into pabour with DS1, I knew from DD's birth how strong I was. I knew I could do it, put up with alot and get through it by myself. And I did. When in labour with DS2, again I knew I was strong, empowered and powerful and I could and would do it.

[delphmoon]

Thanks guys.

After I gave birth with #1 the Ob thought I was hemorrhaging and (I don't know the name of the procedure) the ob reached into my uterus and maybe pulled the placenta out or was 'fishing' around for something. Anyway this experience was BY FAR the worst out of the whole thing. In hindsight I don't actually know why she did this to me but now that I think about it I remember that they placed DD on me just as the ob did this and I was yelling out to take DD off me because I was in agony and thought I might drop her. I was beggin my husband to take DD because I thought she was going to get hurt...hmmm... I forgot about all that till now.

From one aspect I feel stronger but on the other I feel like soo much more could go wrong. I'm worrying about things that I didnt even think about during my first pregnancy.

It reassures me though that some of you have had similar feelings

[~clover~]

2nd time around I was way more scared than the first time, coz I knew just how hard it was going to be! But I used what I knew & handled it way better. It was definetely my best of all 4 labours in the way I dealt with it.
#3 & #4 didn't worry me at all. Hardly thought about it.

[MrsFabuloso]

delphmoon, I had the same experience as you, twice over. I have haemmoraged with all of my births (angels included) and with DD's birth adn DS2's births, I had the same thing done. It is excruciating, but they do it to try to get out what is causing you to haemmorage and to try to prevent you from having to go to theatre, which would mean general anaesthetic and a D&C to stop your bleeding. I didn't remember I had it done when I had DD until the doctor did it to me with DS2. It is amazingly painful and looking back I have no idea how I got through it. I had my doula with me the second time and she was in tears too. But to me, that is seperate to my births. I have seperated my births from the afters (the haemmoraging ect) because if I put them together I would have never done it again!

[Early Kids]

I was terrified, I kept having nightmares and visions of things going horribly wrong again. I got to the point where I needed to be medicated to be able to cope.
I hated pregnancy and DS1's birth has left me battling with PTSD and depression. The actual labour and pain associated with it didn't bother me at all, it was everything else that happened... DS1 required a full resuscitation and was very very sick (born with an infection @ 30 weeks). DS2 required ventilation because he stopped breathing (34 weeks). I haemorrhaged after all of my 'births' (2 live births, a late m/c and an early m/c). My babies were taken away from me, DS1 wasn't even put on my chest or anything I got to touch his hand quickly before they took him to the NICU, DS2 was placed on my chest but only for about 10 secs as he struggled (I freaked out because I knew something was wrong and didn't want a repeat of DS1's events).

The Dr was very supportive when I wanted my tubes tied at 24. I just can't do pregnancy well.

[CrazyLady]

I'm not more anxious of the labour but bub's well being actually. I've had to censor what I read of late because after so many losses on BB I was having anxiety attacks and nightmares. Regarding labour, I am scared when I actually labour I mean when will it happen. DD was induced because I had a massive spike in BP but this one my BP has remained steady and at a decent level so at this stage everything will be left to go naturally. With DD I was starting to dilate prior to being induced and I wasn't even aware it was happening. The dr thought I was lying when I said I hadn't had any back pain. I am also incredibly anxious about who will look after DD as I don't have any family nearby. I haven't had her babysat ever except for when I was visiting Melbourne MIL looked after her but DP was just in the yard the whole time so wasn't technically babysitting.

[Party-of-five]

With my 2nd I wasn't too worried just excited as there was an 8 year gap, but between number 2 and 3 there was only 17months between so it was still kind of fresh KWIM so I was a bit anxious but everything was ok once I was in labour

[delphmoon]

Crazylady- I know what you mean about censoring what you see and hear about birth labour etc. I think I do worry more now about things than I did with DD1

Lilias- Thanks for your words and for mentioning about seperating the actual birth away from all the other things. I think this is a great idea

[raffy]

Just quietly I'm pooping myself lol. With DS my labour was all over in under 2 hours, I only made to the hospital with 15 mins to spare and I had a fair bit of trauma that required immediate surgery. Before I didn't no any better but now I no what's gonna happen and I'm scared I'm not gonna even make it to the hospital this time

[delphmoon]

RAffy- MAybe we will both have to put on our 'brave hats' before labour

Also Raffy, I noticed you have an 8 month old already. HOw are you feeling about having 2 bubbas soo close together? I have an 11 month old who will be 15 months when cookies born and I am very pleased indeed, but I must admit...in the wee hours of the morn I think how the hell am i going to manage?

[~Minny~]

Second time around i was nervous as, i was more aware of what could go wrong especially after a ECS first time around, the restraints of a impending vbac as well didnt help. However it did make me more determined than ever to try and achieve what i wanted, apart from the pain and the duration i quiet enjoyed labour second time around as i was more intune with what it all ment and what the end would bring.

Good luck on your impending birth im sure it will be great

[Taurean]

I'm not more anxious of the labour but bub's well being actually. I've had to censor what I read of late because after so many losses on BB I was having anxiety attacks and nightmares.

I totally get what you mean. I'm not really getting too anxious yet but I'm so much more worried about complications, miscarriage and stillbirth this time. I love BB but that's one side of pregnancy I really don't want to know much about. I wish there was a way we could hide those threads at a personal 'settings' level because as much as I try not to read them, I find I always do. They are heartbreaking and I feel so much for those beautiful mummas but it really has created a whole other level of stress I just don't need during pregnancy. I didn't really worry about it at all with DD but I was relatively new to BB and stuck to the pregnancy threads.

I'm a little nervous about labour because like others, I know what to expect this time, but I think I'm more nervous that I'll have a more difficult birth, LOL! I had a tough posterior birth with DD but I think the whole experience was amazing! I truly loved it, I felt so empowered. I'm worried I won't have that this time round. Stupid hey