Thanks Mumma2 - yeah when they're nearly perfect, it sucks to have nag them about something!

[I'll PM you about the PCOS stuff so I don't TOTALLY hijack Berenice's very interesting thread!]

Hmmm I was just rereading Human Bean's comment : "We have just written our birth plan together" and a penny dropped...

During my 'discussion' with DP last night, when I was reminding him of all the prep, reading, and purchasing of dozens and dozens of baby related items that I've done (all of which required loads of research and thought - well that's my method!). He replied "Yeah well I feel a bit left out of the decision making there".

So, the problem might well be that I (and others) don't genuinely empower our DH's to learn and get involved. We say we do but true engagement requires us to involve the other person in the way they feel comfortable and that will empower them to learn and make decisions. We just think "well I research endlessly online, why doesn't he?". Or "I have read all the pregnancy books twice from cover the cover, can't he just read ONE?".

Yet, Human Bean's comment hit a chord with me. DP and I didn't write OUR birth plan TOGETHER. I wrote MY birth plan and presented him with a copy. Reflecting back, he did express interest in working on it together a few weeks earlier, but I couldn't get my arse into gear in the evenings to want to do so.

Gulp!

Very interesting.