What an impressive, inspiring, rational, beautifully expressed account of an amazing achievement. You've done so well! And I may be biased but I love her name. x Hugs x
OMG Kat - that was an emmensley powerful and moving story.
I'm still not sure reading this 6 days after my own birth was the best idea - I have tears running down my face! Some of those are of utter relief that my own experience was pretty much what I had hoped it would be.
I had the priveledge of hearing Rhea Dempsey speak a couple of times during my pregnancy and have to admit I was fast on the road to becoming an 'aspirationally naive' woman myself - I think I must have read every natural birth text in the English language there was and thought I was armed with all the knowledge I needed for the 'perfect birth'. I don't know what diverted me from that path - a combination of my influences from my doula, yoga teacher, and close friend who teaches calmbirth I think helped me to 'keep it real'.
Thank you so much for sharing your story in such detail - I'm sure many of us will learn from your experience - especially the realisations you listed in the last post.
You are truely a courageous woman
Kat - thats so beautifully written and so raw, I had tears running down my face reading it - I felt like I was going through it with you.
I think Ivy will be really proud to read that one day, and hopefully as a young woman and eventually a mother she will understand the emotional rollercoaster you have gone through, as her birth story has been written with obvious love.
I'm so pleased you got skin on skin time before she was whisked away - thats my regret about Baileys birth as he was taken so quickly for treatment after birth, but ultimately his condition dictated that for us....
When we all go back for our 2nd child - our experiences from our first labours will be very much at the forefront of our minds, and hopefully guide us in perfecting the experience next time (as much as we can control)
Thanks for sharing such a personal and touching story - Ivy's birth is really inspirational
Hi Kat,
I read your story a few days ago and it's taken me a while to process it.
I think you did an amazing job and I can see it's easy to beat yourself up when things don't go the way you expect. I hope you are fully debriefed now and can be proud of giving birth.
My first reaction to your story was shock that you were in labour for so long. For some reason I thought early labours would be easy because obviously the baby wanted to come out, plus it would be smaller than a full-term baby. I think it's time I read up on labour now. I thought I had another two months before I had to worry about the details! So thank you for posting your story in all its gory and wonderful details.
I hope you are now having a lovely time with your lovely baby.
Bella - Rhea Dempsey is a birth attendant, educator, activist and writer. In her talks about natural birth she discusses different categories of women in their plans to give birth ranging from those who just want drugs and all interventions from the beginning, no matter what.... through to those who are so confident that they will have no trouble achieving their natural birth that they are "aspirationally naive". I don't think I can really do her definitions justice - it's worth tracking down her writing or seeing if you can attend one of her talks. I think she's Melbourne based so the latter could be tricky but if you ever get a chance to hear her speak, I highly recommend it. She is an amazing woman - very insightful, wise, feisty, brutally honest and hilarious.
Kat - your story is like mine in so many ways, but most particularly that feeling of letting yourself down. I recognised so easily that moment when all your control slips away so suddenly and your pain threshold just bottoms out. I get the occasional jealous twang when I hear of other women going "natural" and try not to get too bitter.
But really, there are so many justifications, that one simply needs to give herself a break. We didn't end up with Csections, and that in itself is a blessing. EVERY birth is natural, even if you have IVF, induction, Csection, and bottle-feed. There is nothing artificial in growing a baby in your tummy and the love you feel afterwards.
I agree, it is just a story. I wrote my birth story, the one that I wanted to write, about a month before having Caden. It was just words on paper, the water breaking at home, the giddy anticipation, the pain, the begging for an epidural but oh, too late, you're 10 cm already! No tearing, yay, no stitches, all finished in about 6 hours. But it is just words, and the true triumph comes from seeing the deepest depths of your soul and endurance, and admitting that you have seen the end.
SO you are a hero. To me, most definitley, you have to be because that means I am one too. *hugs*
Wow. Just re-read this, almost 2 years on. Trying to start healing some of the remaining wounds from Ivy's birth and get myself 'free and clear' for another shot at this birthing business. This still made me cry. Guess it always will but it was a good reminder of what I learnt from what went 'wrong' and right, and the work that needs to be done before bump#2 appears.
Just ing so it's not so hard for me to find again soon.
Aww sweetie. Glad you are facing these things now.. It is really good to make sure you have processed all of the grief and debriefed properly, or you may find yourself doing that during your next labour which is not ideal. I hope both of us take the wisdom of our previous births into the next one.
I just have to say that yours is the best birth story I've ever read. I was absolutely captivated the whole time.
I'm sorry it didn't go to plan but you are a true inspiration regardless.
I am probably a bit naive in thinking that my next birth is going to go perfectly to plan. Your story has really opened my eyes and encouraged me to prepare for the unexpected.
Thankyou. Good luck with your next birth x
omg i still cant believe i never read this wat an awesome story u were awesome i would have been begging for drugs too the peth was enough for me even though i regret it now after having a totally natural 2nd birth but wats done is done and now look to the future and upcoming birth and FWIW i was way more scared the second time around even though it turned out better
I can honestly say that this is the single most courageous and honest birth story i have ever read, and i could not tell you the number of birth stories i have read in search of the even the smallest remotest shred of similarity to my first experience of birth and how i felt about it. Your insight and ability to express yourself is incredible, i hope that this next birth for you is everything that you want it to be.
I really struggled during my second birth to conquer the emotional barriers that i had built from my first experience, despite all of the preparation and healing i tried to do. But in the end, my body over rid my mind anyway and i had no other option but to trust in myself and break those barriers without looking back. When i got through to the other side, i felt invincible! I truly hope that this time round you to experience this!
Thank you for not only posting it, but bumping so i could read it It has had such a big impact on me!
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ing so it's not so hard for me to find again soon.
i would have been begging for drugs too the peth was enough for me even though i regret it now after having a totally natural 2nd birth but wats done is done and now look to the future and upcoming birth
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