Sorry to hear about your bad experiences with birth etc.
I would change it to what you want. You have to live with this name (so to speak) everyday, so you must choose one that you like! I went thru a similar thing when i had DS. I felt obligated to call him Charlie, after my G Grandfather. But when he was born, he didnt look like a Charlie, so we called him James - after my Mums Father! So that didnt go down well with my Dad LOL! and you could just see the dissapointment in his face, when we told him what we decided on.
I am so pleased now that we chose a name that suited DS. Your inlaws will get over it! My Dad did!!
Good luck with everything.