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Thread: The saddest day (a little long but necessary)

  1. #19

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    First of all Charaz...Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy!!

    I also agree with Lulu, (and everyone else) what could be next?? Don't let her undermine you as a mother and especially as a couple.

    They don't have to like the name/s you choose.. But they should respect it.



    I would fill out that form with the name you have chosen, mail it off and when you get your sons beautiful birth certificate with his name on it, I would proudly display it for ALL to see. Politely tell them you are this child's mother, you conceived him, nourished him and brought him into this world and therefor you choose his name and they must respect it.

    huge hugs to you....

    Nic

  2. #20

    Join Date
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    Adelaide
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    Sorry to hear about your bad experiences with birth etc.
    I would change it to what you want. You have to live with this name (so to speak) everyday, so you must choose one that you like! I went thru a similar thing when i had DS. I felt obligated to call him Charlie, after my G Grandfather. But when he was born, he didnt look like a Charlie, so we called him James - after my Mums Father! So that didnt go down well with my Dad LOL! and you could just see the dissapointment in his face, when we told him what we decided on.
    I am so pleased now that we chose a name that suited DS. Your inlaws will get over it! My Dad did!!
    Good luck with everything.

  3. #21
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Charaz - I am soooo sorry you had to go through all of this. As all the others have said, it's your right to name your baby what you want to name him. I don't understand how your IL's think that they can dictate to you what to name your child?? That's just bizarre and completely controlling.
    I really hope that, someday soon, you are all able to move on from this. It sounds like, despite everything, you are enjoying motherhood which is great to hear. Hugs for you, matey!

  4. #22

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    Nov 2005
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    Hi Charaz, just wondering if you have used your DH's last name for your son? If so, your IL's should be proud that you even have a son to carry on the family name at all! Shane and I are not married but as it is my fathers belief that the children take the fathers last name no matter what, our son's have taken their fathers surname. What we did was use the middle name to honour my family. As everyone has said it is your decision for your baby's name, this is not the 1800's when it was expected to name your first born son after the father or fathers family. Nor are you member of a Royal Family where there are expectations for the name of your children. If you have filled out the forms, I say tear them up,and then go and fill in a new one with the name of your choice. Point out to your rotton IL's that your son is already named after your FIL just by him taking their surname and they should be happy with that!

  5. #23

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    Aug 2006
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    ex-Melbourne girl in Hong Kong
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    Wow, what rotten inlaws.

    I'm just being a sheep and agreeing with everyone. I in the same situation would take a look at the baby's last name too. What's to say he can't have your maiden name and you change back or hyphenate your last name. So some might say that's just putting fuel on the fire but I won't be walked all over.

    I know of 2 couples where the man has taken the womans name, 2 where they have both adopted a hyphenated name making a combination of the 2 original names and 1 where they chose his mothers maiden name and both took it...

    It sounds like your DH doesn't have a very good self esteem and has probably been bullied by his parents all his life. I'm sorry to say it but I think he needs to grow some hair on his balls and be his own man...he's not 8 anymore.

  6. #24

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    I think it's pretty unanimous... change his name back to the one you wanted darl. I can think of no reason why it should be your FILs. I suspect that if you let them bully you into what they want it will be the start of a lifetime of them insisting you do things their way: should he be Christened? Should he be weaned? What school should he go to? it will never end. Nip it in the bud now.

    Also I agree with 7th Heaven: if he is a June baby you are most welcome to join us in the June Babies group! Good Luck! Let us know how you go!

  7. #25
    Colleen Guest

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    Dont feel bad about other people having to get used to a new name either, DP's parents named their son, Jason and a while later changed it to Josh!

    They told everyone, and whited out Jason on all the Cards and penciled in Joshua!

    Its a story that still gets told 16 years later...Congrats on the arrival of your bub and good luck, let us know how you go!

  8. #26
    charaz Guest

    Wink The saddest day - Update

    Hello everybody,

    You might remember my sad sob story about the naming of my beautiful baby boy. Well thanks to all of you (your viewpoints and support strengthened my resolve to set things straight, as it made me realise that I wasn't being unrealistic or unreasonable), after many tears, discussions with my DH and some soul searching, I proudly completed and personally lodged that registration form with a name that both DH and I loved before our darling was born. That day was the proudest day that I can remember. I am not concerned with the reactions of others. Miraculously I am no longer depressed or suffering from anxiety, instead I wake up refreshed and full of energy. Best of all I am immensely enjoying the company of my beautiful baby and am better able to give him the love and attention that he deserves rather than fretting over the past. Thanks to you all, my love goes out to everyone! I will be joining the June babies thread if I can find it.

  9. #27

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    That's so good to hear charaz!! I'm so happy for you!

  10. #28

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    Congrats, Charaz, I'm so happy for you! It's so good to hear all the depression and anxiety has lifted too now.

  11. #29
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

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    I read your story with much sadness but felt that what everyone said was what you needed to hear and could add no more. I just want to say how incredibly happy I am that you are now happy and that your son has a name chosen by you and your DH. Enjoy your son and you "new" self

  12. #30

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    Charaz, You go giiiiiirrrrlllll!

    So pleased to hear you have claimed your power! I hope all is going well with DH too, it sounds like there have been some rough weather for you both...hope you can ride those waves together!
    Blessings
    Marydean
    Last edited by AnyDream; September 4th, 2006 at 07:47 PM.

  13. #31

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    Oh Charaz that's great news!

  14. #32

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    Yay Charaz, that's fantastic news

  15. #33

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    Hurrah! Now your baby has a name his PARENTS chose, that is so special that you ended up with the name you and your hubby originally decided on together, as a couple, as parents!
    I hope that in the future you and your DH will remember how good it felt to make parenting decisions as a couple and keep up your courage! Also hope your PIL's are able to be gracious about your wishes.
    All the best.

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