Hi All
Just need to get this off my chest (LOL)
MIL never bfed either of her boys...
I think she is threatened that my SIl and I are bith avid bfeeders..
Anyway she insists on 'helping' me- ie when my son pulls off and cries sometimes (i have v fast flow in one side in particular) - she rushes over and pats his head, tries to wipe his mouth etc... wtf she is 3 cms from my nipple....
She also refers to every feed as a 'top up' which gets on my nerves...
and gives me advice all the time when she would have no clue - dont feed him so often to stop fast flow (???), hold him ina diff way etc
She also asks me 'is your milk def ok' bc he has wind pain and 'do you have enough' bc he feeds often and fast
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I know it isnta bigdealbut theyare here this weekend and it is BUGGING ME BIG TIME!! so thought if i wrote it here i would be less likely to snap at her in real life LOL! thanks for reading.
Pap - you poor thing! I was getting irritated by her while just reading your post! Can you perhaps leave the room to feed? I know it's not ideal, but at least that way you can keep the peace with your Mil, and enjoy the feeding time. Good luck!
How irritating, I would feed in another room away from her as someone else suggested.
I found with fast flow if it was a prob I fed lying down which helped heaps.
oh yeah, it was annoying me just reading it too!
i think she might benefit from you snapping....... just once. Some people just don't get it, my MIL included and often need to be told!
I wish I could give you wise words of wisdom but all I can say from my experience is that it will get better. My MIL still thinks I do everything wrong with the boys (and I'm sure she still has issues with the fact that I bf ) but at least she knows now to say anything anymore.
Hi preagainpan! oh boy, try to not let it get to you... (yea. sure. that works- right?)
just another opinion but if my MIL was doing those sorts of things I would probably think maybe she is reliving her own fears(?) about bfing.. if that's the case then without meaning to she might be thinking you have the same thoughts going through your head and in a weird way maybe trying to help overcome them by offering unsolicited "help"...ok hope that made some sort of sense...
I'd be saying to her - I don't tell you how to eat your food so don't tell me how my son should eat his food, I'd also say to her that you're choosing to raise your children the way you and your DH want to.
My gosh...ask her if she wants some ???!!! LOL...joking - she seems very interested....and annoying.
I think the old school (i.e our MILs...mines the same) have very diff ideas on b/f. I know mine always says 'i never had any milk', or 'my breasts were too small'....its a load of whoo haa if you ask me. She didnt have the support 40 YEARS AGO that we have today.
Argh, how annoying! My SIL is annoying like that, since day one has questioned my breastfeeding and breastmilk, she had the hide to ask me at 8 weeks when I was weaning her onto real milk ie. formula (WTF?) and if we had started solids. She's now on her 'breastfeeding past one year is so disgusting and wrong' bandwagon
I should thank her though, every time I think of weaning, I just think of how I'd have to listen to her say "I was right, you should wean and you did, you listened to me etc etc blah blah blah" so I don't. hehehehe.
Perhaps you could politely ask her why she didn't BF listen to her reasoning and then say something like - uh I see well, my lactation specialist said everything is fine and I would really appreciate you giving me a little space while baby boy is feeding.
ok so its a little white lie but considering she herself has never actually BF her babies maybe mentioning a "lactation specialist" wil get her to back off seeing that they "know" more about it then she does.
basically its a nice way of saying - BACK OFF WOMAN WITH NO IDEA, WE ARE JUST FINE
thanks girls - feel better from having the vent and also your supportive comments...
she doesnt think she knows anything about bf, it is more she just wants to be 'helpful' ALL THE TIME! she was the same last time...
and the little comments like calling each feed a 'top up' must be lingo she has picked up... grrrr
she wont ever admit she doesnt know how to do anything or needs some help to remember and then is hopeless. i was trying to be inclusive yest and asked her if she would like to bath ds2. she says 'of course' so i asked if she would like me to show her what i do... of course not.. then as soon as he started crying (bc she had him only partly in) she FREAKED out, told me i had run it too hot, and he doesnt like it etc etc... funnily when i v firmly told her to listen to me and do what i asked - ie put him fully in and float him, look into his eyes and coo at him etc he loved it - and so did she....
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
anyone sense the weekend i am having... aaah they go home tomorrow!!
Hunny - I know it is hard with a newbie and MIL's - but be grateful she wants to be included and meet your little bundle sooner rather than never like some families.
I wont go into my details or stories, but honestly, she really would have the best intentions I think???
Reply With Quote
BellyBelly Member
bit of a vent - MIL and BFeeding
how annoying!
Some people just don't get it, my MIL included and often need to be told!
) but at least she knows now to say anything anymore.
Bookmarks