Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 19 to 36 of 39

Thread: Have you had to deal with negatives comments/attitudes about BFing?

  1. #19

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Sunshine Coast
    Posts
    1,142

    Default

    When DS1 was little there was a lot of "oh he's not hungry" from my Mum 'cause she thought I was feeding too often, but she soon got over it with me saying just give him to me anyway, if he's not hungry he won't take it. This time nothing.

    Also I felt looks at shopping centres, either this time there aren't any looks or I'm oblivious. Oh and DH's aunt said "I didn't breastfeed 'cause I didn't want to feel like a cow" (so you feed your DD modified cow milk then, eh)


  2. #20

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,037

    Default

    My own Mom has asked me if I still feel trapped and tied to DD because I'm BF - that was at 12 weeks - and I've never felt that way but that was her perception. She went on and on about how she wanted to help me when DD was born but she couldn't because I insisted on BF. Ummm yeah, because giving her a bottle is the only way anyone can help me?

    Just yesterday, in the back of a very quiet cafe, having lunch with a friend and her FF baby, DD was due a feed. I casually mentioned she was due, and the look of horror on my friends face followed by 'you're not going to do it here are you?' just shattered me. I ended up finding a parent room. I wish I'd just fed her there and then, but she made me feel so self concious

  3. #21

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    In a library somewhere...
    Posts
    788

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss E View Post
    ladies, it horrible that people can make comments like the ones you've mentioned, when BF is such a natural thing. I think it just shows how warped our modern society is. When something that is so innate can be condemned or looked down upon you can't help but wonder what has happened to humanity.

    I tend to think that the underlying reason a lot of people are uncomfortable with BF'ing is because is makes them realise how much humans are like other animals and that when it comes down to it we're really not all that superior. Like cows, dogs, cats etc our offspring suckle and are nourished by their mothers milk. I think that is beautiful and humbling, but unfortunately I think it makes some people uncomfortable...
    Personally, I don't think the negative attitudes have much to do with people not wanting to be likened to other animals (particularly if they believe in evolution) and more to do with the over-sexualised attitudes of modern society. It's the idea that boobs are there for sexual pleasure and not the practicality of feeding a baby, hence you get comments like the one given by jellyfish's cousin and women who worry about sagging boobs that might effect their sexual attractiveness. Yet it's the people whose thinking is influenced by these attitudes that think women who breastfeed, especially long term, are the one's who are somehow perverted in their thinking... Ha!

  4. #22

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Rural NSW
    Posts
    6,975

    Default

    Like Lulu I didn't care. I BF my youngest beyond 2 years and my own mother seemed the most perplexed as to why i would bother... sad coming from a nurse... and my child's grandmother who should be thrilled that he is reciving something so valuable.

    I tend to only value a person's opinion if i feel that it's given with an educated perspective and/or with compassion... or at the very least if it's said politely. If those elements are missing then their opinion means very little... I smile and nod if they aren't likely to listen to my opinion and tactfully share my opinion if feel they might be receptive.

  5. #23

    Default

    One of my colleagues got very grumpy and announced that someone she knew was "still" BFing when her child was 12 months old (she considered that it was "too old"). I just casually mentioned that the WHO recommends BFing to 2 years. If I'd been more prepared I would have added that in Mongolia, BFing beyond 2 years is common, and that I was BFed until I was 2 1/2, and that if DS wants it, he'll be BFed beyond 2 years as well. I'll be ready for it next time.

    I really, truly believe that a LOT of the negative comments about BFing come from people who FF, and have their own baggage around that. I have to remind myself of that when I hear comments about BFing - that if they think BFing is bad/weird/pointless then it's actually, often, their "stuff" because for whatever reason, they didn't BF.

    My SIL has recently started supplementing her 4 month-old DS with Formula. My MIL told me that it's because she has supply issues, and that besides, there's "no point" BFing beyond 6 months, and that I "shouldn't feel like I have to" BF after 6 months. I think she (and my FIL) think that BFing is just a hassle and that I'm looking forward to giving it up. They're about to receive an education on that

    Oh, and I also believe that some of the comments are not negative, but curiousity. I myself asked a friend if she was "still BFing" her 18 month-old. But I didn't mean it as a negative comment, I was genuinely interested, and I had some questions for her about that, because I wanted to learn from her experience. I knew as soon as I'd asked the question that she had thought I was criticising her, because she became instantly defensive until she realised that I was not being negative at all. Next time I'll be thinking more about my words, but I'll also be conscious of it when someone asks me whether I'm "still BFing" - the question may be genuine curiosity, not criticism.

    I heart BFing.

  6. #24

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    11,633

    Default

    I don't think I've ever really had negative comments. After a while everyone just assumes you must have stopped by now I think
    Anyone who thinks it's wrong or whatever is just revealing their own inner weirdness anyway. Babies and toddlers like breastfeeding - that's just normal.

    Are you in the ABA? That's the best place to feel good about breastfeeding at any age.

  7. #25

    Default

    I've never had any issues. Either I know the right people, or its just where I live (small town). I've had a few people surprised this big, cute lump I have here is breastfed though. Babies get fat on breastmilk too, sheesh!

    I think I made the yellow pages guy a touch squeamish when I was trying to book an ad yesterday and the baby got hungry. He didn't know where to look lol, but he didn't say anything. Most other (male) professionals I've breastfed in front of either smile indulgently (probably the ones with kids themselves) or don't bat an eyelid.

    Breastfeeding is great for lazy people. They should advertise that more than it being 'best'.

  8. #26

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,621

    Default

    Can honestly say I've not had one negative comment, weird look (that I know of) or negative attitude thrust my way while BFing either son. I BFd DS1 almost 14 monts tilll he'd decided he'd had enough, and am 9 1/2 months into DS2's BF journey. Probably helps that my sister and I have had our babies together - our youngest and eldest kids are virtually same age and were/are BFd. Plus my mum BFd us - my sister till she was 18 months. Not bad for 1976! So plenty of support in my immediate family. But TBH, I wouldn't give a rats clacker even if someone had something rude to say. Politely, up their bottoms

  9. #27

    Default

    Apparently I have that 'face' that says "come abuse me!".. I have copped it a few times. First time with Angel at a shopping centre when and old lady and her little old fart husband decided to stand around acting like pork chops trying to make me "go away to the toilets to feed" because I was a "dirty, disgusting sl*t".

    Even had a woman abuse me recently with bunny. Most disturbingly, I was already IN the nursing room. Apparently I didn't sit behind the curtain and close it - making me the hell spawn here to oversexualise her toddler son who by having my babies head in front of my breast.
    If anything, I think i caused her more trouble over the packet of smarties I gave Haz, that her son was clearly far more interested in.

    Never been abused for FFing though.

  10. #28

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,164

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RumpledElf View Post

    Breastfeeding is great for lazy people. They should advertise that more than it being 'best'.
    hahahaha so true. why rock a baby to sleep when you can just shove a boob in their mouth!

  11. #29

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    205

    Default

    I have never felt ashamed or guilty- as i have nothing to feel that way for. But i have had others reflect their negetive attitudes on me. Mostly i got it for BFing my 15 month old. I just chose to reply mostly with the facts on breastfeeding being important to at least 2 years etc ( HE stopped at 16 months when i was a few months pregnant anyway so didn't make it to 2).
    I had the odd "put it away love" at the shopping centre- but the best one is when the girl sitting near me in a very low cut top asked him if he was talking to her?- very tongue in cheek, but we had a giggle about it afterward. The bloke just looked confused, so didn't really work.

    But mostly i got warm looks and encouragement from other mums, who realised how beautiful what i was doing really was.
    I miss it so much.

  12. #30

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Winter is coming
    Posts
    5,000

    Default

    I have never had any negative comments. Actually, not many comments at all. Once at a wedding when DS was 15 months I was feeding him and the mother of the groom (who I didn't know) came over and said that it was great that he was still BF and she loved BF her kids. I think she is the only one that has ever said anything.

    But in NZ it doesn't seem to be a big deal at all (or I have my head in the sand lol)

  13. #31

    Default

    The only comment I've ever had is last week when walking through Gold Coast airport. A lady came up to me and congratulated me on breastfeeding! Spun me out.

  14. #32

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    brisbane
    Posts
    3,975

    Default

    Its good that not many of us have had to experience the negative comments.

    I unfortunately did and it was the most uneducated comment I have ever heard so I easily brushed it off. something along the lines of dont you know only cows feed thier babies milk.....and that its disgusting when a child can walk and is still on the tit ( my child was walking) Lucky for me my DH was supportive and we left

  15. #33

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    5,310

    Default

    I've had a few snide comments, but I've usually ignored or come back with sommething nice and educational.

    The one time I was truly gobsmacked was when my SIL called it 'that thing'. As in "Oh Jazz, you don't need that thing anymore". Have had a few since then - "Are you still having that thing? Ugh! You;re too old for that." and etc.
    It still makes me seeth. Even worse when she tries to tell Shel that the ability to breastfeed is genetic. Abd that Shel shouldnt bother because SIL couldnt breastfeed (ie. had no support for #1, and admits to never trying with #2 or 3).

    I'll admit though, I've not really had a comment from anyone other than family.

  16. #34

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    5,310

    Default

    I've had a few snide comments, but I've usually ignored or come back with sommething nice and educational.

    The one time I was truly gobsmacked was when my SIL called it 'that thing'. As in "Oh Jazz, you don't need that thing anymore". Have had a few since then - "Are you still having that thing? Ugh! You;re too old for that." and etc.
    It still makes me seeth. Even worse when she tries to tell Shel that the ability to breastfeed is genetic. Abd that Shel shouldnt bother because SIL couldnt breastfeed (ie. had no support for #1, and admits to never trying with #2 or 3).

    I'll admit though, I've not really had a comment from anyone other than family.

  17. #35

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Out North, Vic
    Posts
    8,538

    Default

    I keep getting asked "when are you putting that child on the bottle" also told "she wont be as clingy if you stop BFing her", "it's easier on the bottle you can have some time to yourself" "you'l have to go to work some day, then what"

    Well to all those who want to tell me to put her on the bottle, to have time to myself.. SHOVE IT... DD has now been confirmed to have a Dairy Allergy (anephelaxis), that bottle you want me to ram down her throat could kill her, i enjoy BFing and although at times i'd enjoy ME time i'm not fussed that she't not a fan of other people so why the hell does it bother you so much!

  18. #36

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Yarra Valley, Victoria
    Posts
    1,215

    Default

    I've had the mil always try to 'cover me up' while I'm trying to feed. When at the shops I always leave the door wide open in the parents room so I can keep an eye on the pram, she always has to try shut it on me. And when feeding at MY house and they are over, she tells me that its best to go sit in dd.s room to do it and every body should stay out.
    I flop them out in her lounge room now, and I always make sure they get that airing time after the feed

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •