My milk never came in with DD, and we were in hospital for a week trying to establish feeding and milk supply - I tried to feed her for another 2 weeks after we got home from hospital, and she would cry and be hungry all the time. The midwife at the mum's group I attended said that I wasn't producing milk because I didn't really want to feed my baby and that I needed to attach DD all the time to encourage my milk production and stop being selfish, so I did. I sat home, rarely left the house and had DD attached all the time except when she slept (which was rare as she was hungry all the time!). By nipples were red raw and I cried nearly all the time from pain, exhaustion and hopelessness. I tried to express and after a dose of mastitis reduced the 15ml I was getting from my left breast to nil, and my right breast could only just produce 20ml a day I went back to by OBGYN and he said that I wasn't producing enough for DD, she was losing weight rapidly and that I should put her on formula as it was the best option for all of us. I intially started supplement feeding and kept trying to BF to see if anything would impove, but my breaking point came a few days after my visit to the OBGYN when one of the midwives at the new mum's group I attended made me sit and feed DD for 30mins solid after I told her about my visit to my OBGYN. She said he didn't know what he was talking about, that a man doesn't know anything about breast feeding, sat me down, attached DD and wouldn't let me give her a bottle even though she was screaming because she was hungry and I had nothing for her. Again, she told me that I wasn't producing milk because my heart wasn't in it, and I was being selfish by depriving my daughter and was looking for excuses and convenient ways to avoid having to BF. This went on for 30 minutes before I packed up and left while the midwife went to the toilet and I could 'escape'.
Needless to say the emotional wreck that called my DH was no longer his wife - it was an emotionally destroyed woman who was made to feel and think she was the biggest failure and worst mother in history. DH called the midwife to give her a serve and to date I have never gone back and never spoken to the midwife again. And I refused to let DD go to the baby clinic, all her checks, immunisations and everything have been done by our family GP and the private paediatrician since that day.
My experience is one I would never wish on anyone, but I am still an advocate for breastfeeding, and I hope to breastfeed successfully when we have another child. This doesn't change the fact that formula saved my sanity and my daughter's life, and she is the happiest toddler I could ever have imagined, and the change in her as a baby when she started formula was amazing and it was wonderful to have a happy baby who didn't cry constantly simply because she was starving and slept soundly with a full tummy. And I still had eye contact and gently stroked her face and held her close while she was bottle feeding, just as I did when I was trying to BF and DD and I are as bonded as you could imagine, despite the midwife telling me that DD wouldn't bond with me if I didn't BF.
I did what I had to do for our daughter's health and I have no regrets, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat if necessary.
Firstly, I just want to say to come of the mums that had such a difficult time trying to bf/establish bf & little or no support a huge *hug*
In response to your questions, my answers follow:
On what basis did you come to the conclusion that you were unable to bf, that you "had no choice"? Was it diagnosed by a Dr/Midwife/Lactation Consultant (trained & qualified)?
On what basis was that diagnosis/decision made?
I didn't really come to a conclusion that I was 'unable' to bf or that I had 'no choice'. I found bf extremely difficult & frustrating. I am a very emotionally closed person & I don't think it was until day 7 or 8 after having my DD that I actually cried b/c of how tired and distressed I was over trying to establish bf. It was my full intention to bf until DD was approx. 12 months old (or longer or shorter depending on personal circumstances) and I read alot on forums (like BB) and went to the hospitals lactation class - which IMO was not that beneficial in hindsight - too clinical and pretending to BF a doll does not lead to successful bf / bf estalishment. My gf even bought me a bf pillow & I watched my friends bf their children (my mum did not bf for long periods of time) I found attachment difficult & DD constantly falling asleep on my breast whilst only feeding for a short period of time (ie: minutes) but perservering at all hours in the morning/day/night to feed for over an hour at times so DD would settle to sleep - which she did not. The midwives suggested comp feeding with formula & the change was immediate with my DD - she looked content and slept. So, the routine was I would bf, top up with formula if she needed it (which she did) and then express to encourage my supply. This wasn't commenced until about day 5/6 after DD was born and what I did express appeared to be still colostrum & approx. 2 ml. I also ended up with mastitis in hospital, which was surprising considering I was bf & expressing. The final crunch came when a midwife sat with me one morning (approx. breakfast time) and suggested I stay in hospital longer (I was already on day 8) and continuing what I was doing or put DD onto forumla. I broke down in tears. I decided I did not have the strength (emotionally) to bf, express & comp feed so made the decision after chatting to DH to put her on formula. I was also referred to a counsellor for suspected PND - I was diagnosed with anxiety over bf establishment.
"did you try CM approaches to the problem before going straight to formula or other methods; if so did they work, what were they, etc? If not, why not? Were you aware that CM could help you in that situation? If the same situation came up, would you try CM
As answered above, I tried a combination of bf, expressing & comp feeding prior to putting DD exclusively on formula. No other methods were tried or even considered. I was not aware that CM could help. If the same situation came up, I would try alternative methods but probably not CM.
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