Oh Emma you poor darling.

I couldn't not reply to this one because I posted in your original thread about the post forceps incontinence.

(FWIW for others, stress incontinence is when you can't hold onto your urine and so the moment your bladder becomes "stressed" eg jumping up and down, getting a bit full, it leaks - you basically have no ability to "hold on"). It's not emotional - although the leaking certainly makes you feel emotional.

This is a hard one for me to respond to because normally I am not a fan of posters being pushed to continue breastfeeding when they are considering giving up. Also it sounds as though your incontinence is worse than mine was.

But I honestly think that you should at least defer the decision until bub is past the 6 week mark and you've had your postnatal checkup. It is going to take a while to improve and it sounds like you are being really good with your exercises...give them a bit more of a chance.

I know I experienced a noticeable improvement when I was getting close to my 6 week check up...I remember thinking that I wasn't going to be so embarrassed at my appointment as I thought I was going to be because I was expecting to be telling my OB I was weeing everywhere but by that stage I was starting to get back my ability to hold on.

You also need to cut yourself a break. Learning to deal with 2 children, and going back to the newborn phase after experiencing the relative freedom you get with an almost 3 year old is incredibly difficult. Especially when you are the only one there with them most days, you are tired and sleep deprived, feeling low emotionally because of your physical state and you are physically unable to get out of the house because you are frightened of not being within coo-ee of a loo. It's depressing.

On top of this you are worried about the affect the baby is having on your older child and feeling guilty because neither of them is getting one on one time with you and you feel like you aren't being the best mummy you could be.

Well you know what? You ARE being the best mummy you can be and you are only going to get better.

You're in the middle of a huge learning curve and bubs is only 4 weeks old. Give yourself and your body a chance.

At the risk of you thinking "well bully for you" I want to reassure you that I breastfed my DS for 20 months and got to 6 months exclusive bfing before solids started and I still regained my bladder control.

I just think that at 4 weeks post birth you wouldn't notice a massive improvement with your incontinence by giving up breastfeeding, you would still have a lot of work to do exercise-wise and then perhaps regret giving up the bfing so soon. Personally (and only personally) I would try to push on till I got past the 6 week stage and then reassess how you are feeling. These early weeks are the worst time and it is hard to be clearheaded when you are feeling so awful.